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When i asked him to leave, it was his black out anger that made the decision .he grabed our daughter (5 ft 2 in soaking wet), by the throat. the end result was me ( lbs) on the floor, with him on top of me (him, lbs) me with a broken rib all i could say was **I am done** My income was what we have lived on for the past at least 10 years, i am disabled .he would work short periods, and quit the job in the blink of an eye yeah, i would totaly say his self esteem was trashed, but he was the one to trash it .i had tried several times over tha last few years to help him to help himself, to no avail .so i paddled along, paid the bills as best i could, and loved him anyway. When folks around our town have asked about him, i would update them accordingly, he is doing better than i have seen him do in YEARS, and i couldnt be more proud of him .another factor, he had a closet habit, off and on for 15 out of 16 years .i didnt figgure it out for the first 6 years we were together and its been a battle ever since. He finaly got succesfully sober when he left .no more ghetto trailer to worry about fixing, no more worry about the responsability of any of the mess left behind he got a whole new world .up and out of the mess here, and ploped right into a wonderful life .ok, so this was a separation to fix ourselves i thought we were both making fantastic progress .when our daughter gave birth, c section, she ed dad from her recovery room .he brushed her off .we ed him on his birthday, again he brushed us off. Ok, so i did have a feeling he was seeing someone but i was NOT prepared for .**I have met someone, she is wonderful, i want a divorce, and i am shutting off the cell phones** Took my breath away . I be ok i think ..16 years is a huge chunk of my life, and this trailer is still a huge leaky mess, a work in progress, my way of healing my self esteem/respect, which i lost in an effort to this person, way to years ago . CONT NEXT POST visiting tonite and ready for nsawhite picket fences and ice cream cones.. We had our tiffs.. but we worked through them well.. One day we had a serious argument.. about him neglecting the household, hanging out all night all the time with his buddies and the fact that he drove home to Portland, from Seattle.. drunk as a skunk.. in the middle of the night.. after ignoring my frantic phone s as to where he was when he was 10 hours late. In his drunken state.. a who is full of compassion for all things living.. and would release a fly into the sky vs swatting it.. Put his hands around my throat and choked me until I passed out. When all was said and done.. Everyone felt bad about it. We were shocked that he had that breaking point.. and we were ashamed to barely even talk about it.. When I had to put on a turtle neck to hide the bruises.. he couldnt even look at me.. I forgave him.. because this was not him.. But our relationship was never the same.. and it started to turn angry.. Several months later.. after a fight about the same things But him being absolutely sober this time.. He reached out put his hands on my throat again. Luckily.. he realized right away what he was doing.. took his hands off my throat and left. I moved out the next day. chat webcam
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