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Recognizing and admitting that you are codependent is a good thing. You know this guy is a liar and has your trust. He continues to lie to you, even if they're little lies they're still lies. Since he's not changing his behavior and you can't (NOR SHOULD YOU) get past his infidelities, this relationship is never going to progress healthily. Your friend even sees trouble. I think that your instincts that tell you that he's a risk to your future and untrustworthy are spot on. I think your idea to approach it as an addiction is a good idea. I think cutting him out of your life all at once is a good idea. I would have your friend be your "sponsor". When you feel like ing him, her instead and get support from her. Do you and your SO live together? If so, pack quickly and get out quickly, don't let it drag on and don't let him try to draw you back in with honeyed words. Distance yourself as much as you can before and after the breakup. Make sure you have a good support network of friends (or just a couple close friends) to take up your time. If you're feeling super lonely and you think you can handle the responsibility, get a low maintenance pet like a rat, fish, or maybe a cat. I think getting out of this relationship, from what you've said, is going to be a really good move on your part. Just remember, with friends and take up a hobby and maybe a pet. who wants to get eaten out tonight
It us troubling that hubby did not step in to de-escalate the situation. Why do you want to go to the wedding? Why did they trust new gf over you? Do you have a pattern of spreading gossip or making unkind remarks? It is weird that the situation got so ugly and dh did not stand up for you, this would be a deal breaker for me unless you have a habit of stirring up trouble then playing innocent. seeking a very bad girlAs B_E posted above, of us have been posting here a time and we've grown somewhat accustomed to trollish, one-line posts which are often abandoned by the poster. The traditional advice for newbies was to lurk for a while, read the posts and get a feel for this place before jumping in with both feet. Few people do this any longer and it leads to misunderstandings. I try only to belittle those who either deserve it, or who crave (heh) it. You seem to be neither, so you have my apology. Threesomes are a very tricky thing. The single person, assuming the other two form a stable couple, have any number of reasons for wishing to engage in a threesome. The most dangerous reason I can think of though, is desperation s/he as a third is having trouble establishing/maintaining a stable relationship of their own and settles for a threesome arrangement in order to get their needs met. This can potentially lead to them trying to split the couple in order to form a couple with their preferred partner. That's why it's critiy important for the couple to be very well established and stable with themselves before bringing in a third. married swingers
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