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fit fun for friend with benefits I was in a similar situation. Never considered leaving, but did consider an affair. Why? Because someone whom I found very interesting seemed to find me interesting. So a little flirting happened and it felt good. And then I had to consider how that could possibly happen after more than 20 years. I my husband, but I kinda lost me in there somewhere. I came here seeking advice, and it helped me to that I must be experiencing this crisis. We had become like roommates, dealing with day to day issues and not providing the emotional(and more) support for each other. I had to realize that if I thought he wasn't providing it to me, then maybe he felt the same way. I was confident there was no cheating on the other end we just lost how to be there for each other. So I had to suck it up and go to him and tell him what I needed. And my biggest fear was alleviated he listened and cared. I really was afraid that it might not have mattered to him, and then I would have to do something about it. There was no need (or intention) to tell him what prompted me to realize we needed the wake-up. And we continue to work on it. I do think about this other person, it is kinda a fun fantasy that is hard to give up. But I have arranged my schedule so there is only a slim of encountering this other person. I eventually be able to let it go. My husband and I chose to spend our life together, and we sometimes have to remind ourselves that we make that choice everyday. It is an easy one, because we do want to be together. We both have changed over the years. Luckily, we both are people who still like each other! Advice from here made it possible for me to figure it out before I destroyed what we have. And I continue to come back and read the advice of the regulars. looking for couples or single ladies w w
You ALL are right. I cant expect the simple tasks to be done the 'right way'.The next time something , like shutting a kitchen cabinet door or seeing to it that the dog doesn't get run over or shutting the door so the cat dont get out or turning off the oven or a myriad of things a would be expected to be able to pick up on -I'll just over look Because those things are not important. I cant expect my. to be there if the REALLY important things happen like where is the shot gun when the store is being robbed or its no big deal if the garden hose is left on all day for no reason. " Because I forgot ". Yeh , I'm an asshole 'cause I'm expecting too much.Yeh I'm a ," fucking WHATEVER " because I expect some one to HEAR me or pay attention. " oh , I forgot to pay the electric ( my job )and now the lights are out " I'm SURE the. understand when the shower runs cold. Yeh , I'll just let it all slide and when the house burns down or the water goes into the triple digits or the electric does that too and the dog is dead in the street I'll KNOW my. has my back when it really counts. Ever hear of a couple working as a team? Ever worked on a farm where the domicile IS the business? Ever needed to KNOW your. can be relied upon to act when the chips are down and something REALLY important happens ? To the last responder,being "right" dont matter as much as being in a 'll just suck it up.Isn't that what a. is supposed to do if the OTHER. is like me the 'controlling asshole' ? If you cant rely on your partner to be cognizant of whats going on , then what kind of a relationship is THAT ? I this person and I'm here to get help, NOT to be ed names or be put down.So far most of what I've read here sounds like some nihilistic relationship advice from people who dont count on their. to be a partner and help-mate. I do my bit and for some parity from my. mc Charleroi porterhouse
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