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You're entitled to your moods all part of being human, whether male or female. ;) I think because you obviously have done your research and know more about, that of course you're having a difficult time getting beyond your feelings for him personally in order to read this book independent of that. Whereas I haven't done the research and am therefore more easily taking his ideas at face value (despite what I think of him personally, even now after reading all the stuff you've found THANKS!). Plus, I have the advantage of envisioning/wondering what one of my close guy friends would think of all this (said friend happens to be, more masculine than feminine, and a androphile if ever I knew one). So I find it much easier to read this imagining it's coming from my friend's perspective rather than from someone with interest in the icky stuff -'s got going on (nazi-stuff, satan-stuff, machismo-stuff ) Finally, I'm not a and even though (like most human beings in my opinion) I have somewhat of a balance in that I've got masculine aspects as much as any has feminine aspects (regardless of our sexual preferences) I'll never know what it's like to be a. And I certainly have no idea what it's like to be a. So, story short what the hell do *I* know? fit guy looking for Apeldoorn fwbIt can't be all one way, or the other nor can it be completely equal. In this area, TRUST and respect matter more than any other. There's bound to be an impasse, no matter what you do. It's those times when one of you HAS to make the decision they feel is best and the other one has to TRUST in that decision and abide by it. You give the power to decide to your spouse, even if you don't agree with it. This isn't so hard to do if you TRUST your spouse to keep your family's best interest in mind. You don't have to agree with his or her decision, but you DO have to trust that s/he is making a fair and just decision. For example, we helped a family member this year with a huge project she needed a ravine cleared of trees, culverts installed, and the whole thing filled in. This required extensive use of a backhoe, chainsaws, crew to help, wear and tear on our equipment and vehicles, risk to life and limb, and $$$MONEY$$$ which neither of us had just lying around. I was deeply afraid for our budget, and argued for the project to be delayed until she could pay for it, or just abandoned (it wasn't a necessity). I could not where we'd get the money. I relented to DH, because I trusted him. And even if the project failed or went bust, I knew he would never risk our own welfare to complete it. Each week, we scrambled to find money for one part or another. We got through it, the job is 70% finished and hold for the, and didn't drive us to the poorhouse, we still eat quite well and stay warm and dry. There are other areas in which DH bends to my, too, even though he disagrees such as maintaining what we need for the house, computer equipment, and managing the weekly budget. It has worked out that he's in charge of the big decisions, and I keep all the mountains of little ones at bay so they don't become big ones. It's a workable balance of power. I don't intrude on his areas of expertise (seeing the bigger picture and planning for the future), and he doesn't intrude on mine (attentiveness to detail, keeping the machine oiled and running smoothly). One reason this works is because we know that trust is earned, not blindly given. We don't just do whatever the hell we want, because we know making a wrong move could damage trust. college dating sites
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