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Weird thing about life is that a lot of us face the same thing but our individuality makes it all unique. I've been in your position and your boyfriends. Now everyone has already said 'have the talk' and start being truthful. I agree with them, to a point. The experience is showing you this isn't going to go away, it's going to fester and nag at you perhaps eventually overtake you. When that happens well that's what happens when something 'oh, I didn't really plan this it just happened' um, happens. You WANT some affair to be out of your character but here you are thinking about it. I think you hit the nail on the head and you're very accurate when you said you were searching for the least offensive truth. It's hard to connect with someone when that's going on and it sounds like it's been there from the start. You two were never really open to each other sexually and protected the fragile ego in order to not sacrifice the budding relationship. I also can that you two and in short order I might add.. let this relationship just slide onto the back burner. Creative aspirations, friendships and 'networking' (is that code for fucking?) have taken the lead. That's a LOT of shared responsibility there. I think the most damning thing you've written though is that you no longer feel attracted to him. I'm not sure exactly why but a sexual mismatch paired with you seeing a weaker side of him would be a powerful birth control device. Mix in the protection and I'm not seeing a whole lotta fuckin' in your future. All I can say is that when I was in your position I was able to get it back only the spark was something lost, not never had been. There was no 'talk', there was introspection. We had changed physiy over the years, wife had gained quite a bit of weight and I wasn't as attracted to her. LOVED her to death, just no wow factor. I thought and yes sometimes hard on what it was that I really loved about her. Thought about what we did and how we connected at that time that time when it was good. I tapped into that. Well, it worked for ME and my wife, well she became like you and we never had 'the talk'. There were some conversations but it was filled with code..searching for the least offensive truth. curvy full figure woman pleaseyou can get large tubs of chocolate, vanilla, or plain-flavored protein powder at most health-food stores, Wal-Mart, you name it. Just add a couple of scoops to the usual milk shake ingredients and blend. You really can't taste it, especially the chocolate, and most drink milkshakes; or if he likes strawberries, make some fruit smoothies for him with the plain. One or two a day is all it takes. He'll gain weight, feel better, look better and have more energy. black teen
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