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your forehead, "Victim Here". So you want to be a submissive? That's awesome, a D/s relationship can be very fulfilling. don't know where to start? Well, start by slowing down just a bit, there are some things to learn first to make sure your experience is a safe and happy one. The first DON”T: don't make a post saying you're a new submissive/slave looking for a Dom/Master, or submissive/slave training. Geez, that scares the hell out of me! While I have found the vast majority of the kink/BDSM community to be wonderful people, there are always going to be the dodgey sort in any community. As much as I hate to admit it, they inhabit the kink community too. There are McDoms (and McDommes) out there. They count on you not knowing the difference between BDSM and. They count on being your only source of “the one true way”. If anyone starts telling you “if you were a TRUE submissive, you'd (insert act here)” spit in his eye, and run like hell. The questionable ones count on you not knowing enough to them on their crap. You have the right to your own limits, and a Dom should always respect that. You decide between the two of you (or more, if that's your dynamic) what is and what is not acceptable. Any Dom/Domme worth their salt has the best interests of their sub in mind. They practice the "camp ground" philosophy to leave their sub in as good or better a condition than they found them. There is a lot of responsibility to being a Top/Dom, and make sure the one you choose is capable of that responsibility. Your submission is a gift. Make sure your Dominant is worthy of this gift. And listen to your gut, if it feels off, take that feeling seriously. don't put yourself in dangerous situations. The first DO: DO learn as much as possible. Learn what BDSM is and what it isn't. There are two basic philosophies of BDSM, SSC and RACK. Safe, Sane and Consensual, and Risk Aware Consensual Kink. I'd suggest you stick with SSC until you learn enough to make a truly informed decision on the risks you're willing to accept. Learn from as different sources as possible, the wider the better. where are the curvy bigger shy womenI mean, texts are easy to ignore. And I think you DO know why they upset you, they highlight the grave imbalance in your relationship, and rub it in your face when you're already stressed out. It seems like you've tried to talk to him about the texts, but have you talked to him about the other issues? The fact that you are becoming more of a 'mom' than a partner, that you are loosing respect for him, that you are looking at him with more resentment and less with ever inconsiderate act? If you HAVEN'T, you need to. If you HAVE, and he refuses to change, you can either accept that this is the way it is, or you can leave. I do sympathize. My DH was unemployed for a while and it was by far the worst time in our relationship. It wasn't just the income imbalance, it was the fact that I was STILL doing most of the chores, shopping, cooking, care taking, and he played a lot of video games. If he didn't change, I would have been gone. Some of this was depression, some of it was laziness, some of it was just not realizing what was on my plate (and me not saying anything until I wanted to throttle him). We worked it out, and everything 'feels fair' to both of us, and we check in about it regularly. (heck, now he works two jobs, still does a lot of the chores, and even cooks twice a week) Balance and communication are two of the hardest things in a relationship, but also two of the most important. Partnering works way better than parenting your SO. amateurs swingers
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