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The classic Passive comes on like gangbusters during the courtship. They shower you with attention, gifts and endless praise. They make you feel better than you've ever felt before with their seemingly self-less, accomodating behavior. In short, they make you feel like you've struck gold. They are such great manipulators that you can't wait to them, thinking life is going to be a breeze and you'll have a perfect marriage filled with daily bliss. It's only after the wedding and a few months into the marriage that you start to the manipulative bahavior manifest itself into something truly ugly. All of a sudden, the person who was so eager and easy to please becomes the person you can't do ANYTHING to please! They find fault with all the little things you do. The become sullen and distant and make you feel that YOU are to blame for their unhappiness. Eventually, you end up following them around the house trying to talk to them about your "relationship" while they keep walking from room to room, ignoring you, as if you have nothing to say that's worthwhile of their time. These manipulative types are drawn to people with a good heart and the best of intentions and they play on that. It makes the emotionally spouse try harder and harder every day to make their other half happy, as any decent spouse would do. But the problem is, these people are depressed and and very childlike in their emotional behavior. They get off on pushing your buttons and watching you go off on them so that they can quietly step back and make you believe you're a raving lunatic. You end up spending year after year trying to get back what you originally had when you first met them a fun, seemingly happy and attentive person who was willing to do anything to win you over. But that day NEVER come, because they won't let it. That's how the cycle of co-dependency starts and continues, until the emotionally spouse finally realizes the cycle, and then comes to the conclusion that it can never be broken. Now tell me, 3unhappy does this all sound familiar? looking for may be youGF of 6 years, living together, comes home with some new lingerie/pajamas a couple weeks ago. She showed, not modeled, them all to me and they are very cute/sexy and comfortable (ie not garters, corsets, crotchless panties etc.). And of course I told her how much I liked them, and her, and what a wonderful person she was and how lucky I am to have her in my life(this part is paraphrased) Got it? .FF to last night, I am in bed, she was out of shower getting dressed for bed in one of her new sets and ME: oohhh very cute, have you worn that one yet? HER:(shooting bird and leaving room) uugghhh, that is what you get(refering to finger) ME:(confused) huh? HER:(returning to room) I want to apologize for giving you the finger(sweetly)BUT(angrily) that is fucking rude! That just shows you dont pay attention to me, I have worn this or times! .into 20 minute rant about me not paying her attention, my energies going somewhere, blah blah blah. ME: (still confused) Huh? There is obviously more going on here than me not remembering that she had already worn that lingerie before, right? Or does this incident show a lack of attention on my part? In advance, my defense is; I honestly could not remember her wearing that one, but i wasn't sure(as my is somewhat fried) and she knows this, and this is why I posed the question "have you worn that one before?" preluded by "OOHHH very cute", in hopes of first establishing my attraction to her and the outfit, before admitting to my nuerological shortcomings. Address it or leave it alone? lonely single mum
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