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Revelation!! Holy shit! I just figured out how to express WHY it's so unsettling when someone emails me and wants to see a picture. It's not that I'm afraid I'm ugly (I'm cute but not a supermodel) and it's not because I'm afraid of rejection (I'm too old to worry about your delicate sensibilities anymore). I HATE it when you solicit a picture from because someone who NEEDS to see who I am before they agree to meet up with me is not coming from the same place or traveling to similar regions, as I am. If you can't READ who I am in my words, either you're not good at comprehension, you didn't bother to read more than the headline, or, most likely, you're a male playing dress-up in CL-land. Voila. CL trolls and "women" who think it's all about how you appear rather than how you are, are now on notice: I will no longer feel bad when I refuse to send you a picture, and I will no longer even bother chatting further with you once you ask for one. Hah! I don't have to feel guilty or wrong. You-all just need to check yourselves and leave that baggage at home. Whew. That's a relief.
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That was enough for me to start to fall in with him, and yet also realize that is NOT enough to make a relationship. He did not have a relationship with himself or his space, so he couldn't have one with me either. Thankfully, we make much better friends than lovers. He's since moved from a efficiency apartment which was piled high with receipts, recycling, and sundry other items he could not bear to part with. I helped him clean and organize it for half of the months we were dating but made very little progress because it is his progress to make. Not mine, or ours. He now lives in a larger multi-room rowhome which he shares with his girlfriend and a roommate. His hoarding habit was more controlled in that environment when he first moved in, but I haven't been to his house in years now, so it could be as bad as it was or a million times better. single in utica
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