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People have deal breakers. Something you can't live with. If the problem was a deal breaker, then I would find the exit quick, and they would not it as a problem or something that needs fixed, then I would find the exit to that relationship quickly. If it is something that isn't that huge to me, Then I would just accept it as who the person is, and realize that I have to deal with it. No relationship is perfect, and no two people are perfect in every way for each other. If you required that I change who I am, and keep bringing it up when I have let you know that that is who I am and I'm not changing it, then you would be driving me away. An example that sometimes drives girls crazy. When I am at home, I am barefoot. I take my shoes off at the door, and put them on the shoe rack. I then find a place to sit and take my socks off. :) If I go to the living room first, I'll take them off and they sit on the floor. In "public" areas of the house, I generally pick them up the next time I head upstairs and put them in the hamper. If the first place I go when I get home is to my office, then I end up with 3-4 pairs of socks in there before I say yuck and pick them up. My office is my room. no bitching about what my room looks like. :) Some girls want to demand I take the socks upstairs right away. I am not willing to change that, because I feel like, the next time I go to the hamper, if the socks are laying in a public part of the house, I pick them up and take them there. If they are in my office, then you don't have any right to bitch about them, and I always have plenty of socks, so its not like I am going to run out so they must get washed in the next load. One of my pet peeves is.. as as I walk in the door come and jabber to me about everything that happened during the day that was completely unimportant. I work a demanding mentally high stress job, and I just fought mental midgets on the roads who have no idea how to drive a car, so when I get home, for a few, I want to decompress. Be in "steepe land" for a few. If its important, and needs to be delt with right then, then yea, come talk to me about it. If you want to tell me what that bitch at the store did, or that asshole at work, give me my decompression time, then tell me about it. maryville married and looking- learn most from the examples their parents set. Little girls learn particularly how to be a woman from their mom's. Is THIS the life you'd want HER to live as an adult? Do you want her to grow up thinking she deserves to be with someone she doesn't, who doesn't contribute to the family? That sleeping on the floor, evictions, instability, etc is the norm? I really doubt it. I think you really this little girl, and really want whats best for her. You 'sticking it out' is NOT what's best for either of you. You need a plan. You need help. You need support. Do you have any friends and family you can rely on? Do you have educational goals? You are, there is time and resources to help you build your future. It's hard. Lots of work, but I'd wager your little girl is worth it. It might be a good idea to talk to an educational counselor, get on CalWorks if you haven't already, and maybe look into a family resource center. In the mean time, you need to stop leading this guy on. His behavior isn't acceptable to you, don't pretend it is. You guys did what you could to give her a two parent household, but it didn't work. You tried, and that's commendable, but be realistic now. My parents split when I was 4. Thank god. Life was miserable when they were together. I can't tell you how times I cried myself to sleep. It got instantly better when they split. We were poor at first, but my mom was so much happier, and every second she spent with me was pure (- care a lot more about that than stuff). She worked her butt off, put herself through school, and ended up in a awesome career (she just retired, built her dream house, and is now traveling the world). She taught me a great work ethic and how to stand up for myself, not to settle for less than I deserve. I'm so grateful. The fact that she didn't put up with my dad's bs also impacted how I look at men. I would be fine on my own, but I've been fortunate to find a really great whom I've been with for a very happy 15 years. Thanks mom. find your soulmate
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