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he is obviously not ready to be in this world. i'm not saying coddle the boy. this is a perfect time to make him grow up. make him learn what it takes, i think that might have been missed in my posts. but to set him out in the world the way he acts, would be seemingly a death wish. not matter how childish/lazy a parent wouldn't want to set their own up for failure or pain or suffering. make him learn the lesson, otherwise it just be a matter of time until he's back under the roof in even a bigger of a mess. Plymouth big tits
You had the option of living apart. Does that suck swampwater? Yes. But it is feasible for a short term? In theory, yes. You could have sent him to Iowa to get life started while you closed down your life more to your liking. (hear me out) That would have made the transition a *bit* easier, even though you didnt want to move in the first place. Now, he did not HAVE to accept the job. He didnt. But then he also would have been shooting you both in the foot. Better to take the job and make money, than to lose your roof because there just isnt enough money from your job. He have been a bit selfish in packing you up and moving you across the earth from Egypt to Iowa, but he did so because in this economy, and the recession they are trying(and failing) to say is over, a job is a good thing to have. You can always fly home to Egypt to visit family and friends, visit old haunts. But having a income that reduces stress is priceless. You can also choose to look at this as an adventure. It is a to re-invent yourself. Get a new hair-do, a new wardrobe. Take a on a completely different career path you always wanted to try? You have the stuff you can fall back on for a stable career, right? Take this as a positive, even if how you go there sucks. What you make of it matters to how you look at the future in Iowa. wanted hot Warrenton for nsa good timesSo, the other day bf and I had a discussion about $$ and who should pay for what. My point was that, as I do not have an ownership stake in his home (I pay rent), I shouldn't have to pay for things like upkeep and improvements to the home. BF agreed and that was that. But his response didn't sit right with me because it was clear that he hadn't really EVER considered WHEN we might be joining finances, becoming a "team" and, well, committing to togetherness for the term. And me being me, after a day or two of worrying/wondering about it, I broached the subject of term togetherness with BF. Frankly, I thought we HAD committed to that when we agreed to move in together, but that BF needed a few months to make sure that, under the same roof, we all worked well together. He and I are very, very happy with each other. He told me, when I couldn't stop myself from raising the issue of "what about the, term do you us together? Is that what you want?" that I was the best thing to ever happen to him and that he didn't want to "push me away" with his failure to act/plan for the future. He can't quite articulate just WHAT he needs or wants for the future. He just keeps saying that he's not accustomed to thinking about his future and that doing so makes him very anxious (he has anxiety issues anyway). From my point of view, at this point in our relationship, seeing a future together should fill him with happiness, not anxiety. He's going to make an appt with his therapist to if he can work through his issues. In the meantime, I'm not sure what to do. I am afraid of what the therapy turn up, but that's not rational if the therapy reveals some deep-seated crap, it's better to know that now, right? If it's just not ever going to happen, I need to know that, too. I feel very passive right now, but I've stated my piece and need to let him figure out HIS plans and desires. I don't think there's anything I can do. I guess I'm just anxious where, a week ago, I would have said I was feeling very secure. Damn. single black male
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