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and the refuge of those without considered or explicit examples of failing. I think the more interesting issue here is why you feel you need to conduct a survey to validate what constitutes the label. As with almost everything, this is a matter of opinion and different people have different criteria to qualify. One -'s hero is another -'s reprobate. What some consider rebellion is seen by others as courage of conviction. There is no objective set of standards which can be applied to doom anyone to being a "loser." It is more meaningful for you to decide for yourself what the term means. And then to question yourself about why you feel that way. We can always discover meaningful and interesting things when we examine our own assumptions. If you wish you determine what it is that makes someone in particular apply the designation, ask questions about their assertion. Consider whether their perspective seems valid or is simply a reaction to disappointment. Trying to put yourself in their position can help you understand what values they are applying to the situation that nudge them to their beliefs. Since each of us put different weight on various ideals, knowing which is most important to them (eg; freedom/security, work/free time, spiritual enlightenment/material gain) can be very helpful in ascertaining how they view what makes a person a success or failure. In my experience, most people are doing the best they can. Compassion can go a way towards helping free us of the tyranny of self-righteousness. Philo "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. swinger date Wiley Ford West Virginia WVThe following excerpts are from a book review of two liberal Black scholars discussing the limits of the argument "separate = inherently unequal" in terms of the Black civil rights movement that I think has relevance to the civil unions v. marriage issue: For Ogletree, the welter of emotions leaves him thinking of Brown as an exercise in bait-and-switch. ''Too often,'' he writes, ''integration is presented as an unalloyed benefit for African-Americans, as if we all had been clamoring to leave our communities. For in the African-American community, however, integration was viewed with suspicion or something worse. communities at the center of the battle for integration, represented by the crusading lawyers of the., would have welcomed something less than the full integration demanded by the civil rights lawyers. Instead, these teachers, school principals and janitors would rather have kept their schools, their jobs and their positions of influence than their charges bused to white schools run by white principals where white educators often made the all too grimly aware of their distaste for the new state of affairs.'' goes ever farther, drafting an alternative verdict in the Brown case. What might have happened, he asks, if instead of overturning the ''separate but equal'' standard that had been enshrined in Plessy v. Ferguson, the Supreme Court had insisted on its meticulous, literal application? What if school districts had been required, under judicial oversight, to provide genuinely equivalent facilities, salaries, classes and curriculums to all-black schools? ''Had this been the Brown decision handed down in ,'' suggests, ''both civil rights and school board lawyers would probably, for differing reasons, have condemned it. Yet it makes sense today.'' married wife
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