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I learned the hard way there is no point in "fighting" to keep a relationship. Little changes about our core. This is different than fighting together through a rough time offering support for someone who is heading in the same direction as you but one or both of you having some challenge. If you are waiting on them to change some core part, give it up. It aint gonna happen. outdoorsman looking for true loveI can assure you that the sexual contact lasted for 10 months. The emotional affair probably lasted longer. She claims it was "on again and off again. Mostly off." But apparently they carried on sexually through his birthday (October), her birthday (December), my birthday (-), and our anniversary (-). Her birthday was most painful. She had us go to their house for dinner that night, I felt like I needed to keep an eye on her. I'll never forget the smug look in his eye that night. At one point, the conversation turned towards divorce for adultery, and things felt weird. I was very uncomfortable. Later they e-mailed each other about how I was "starting to open up." She also spent Thanksgiving last year at their house. I was sick with a stomach virus, and she told me something along the lines of "there's a cold turkey in the 'fridge, but we're going." She and my went over to their house for the holiday meal. I didn't eat that day, partly from being sick but also I felt wounded emotionally. We spent Halloween together, our two families, letting the go around to get from a neighborhood event. I felt like I needed to keep an eye on her then, too. This was about a week after I came to bed and she would not look me in the eye. She pretended to be asleep, but kept her head facing the opposite direction, and looked at me through the corner of her eye. I sensed what that look meant. It seems to me that they met through the day-care, when they both had too much time to waste, while their respective spouses were working hard to support their families. And this is how they repaid us. How do we resolve this? I don't know that it can be resolved. As you say, I'm sure my the scars of this. I don't want him to grow up to cheat on his girlfriends/wives, but cannot help to feel that he. Am I sending the wrong message to my by wanting reconciliation rather than a quick break? I shared the link to my OP with my wife. I want her to discuss it with me. I also sent an e-mail to the wife of the scumbag who my wife had sex with. If she s me, I talk to her candidly. If she chooses not to , I assume that she knows the worst. She must already know on some level, but I feel she deserves to know the truth. I would have wanted her to contact me. swingers meet
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