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I don't think using the "here's how other people think of that" is the right approach. Her boyfriend probably likes it, her friends probably do it, and she probably knows tons of girls who do it who aren't being labeled as sluts. And to tell her she'll never get married because it'll be perceived as slutty? That come across as ing her a slut. The idea that you're not ing her a slut, you're just explaining the common perception, but that you don't perceive her that way That's a complicated idea, even for some adults to grasp. And it's arguably false. these days are more comfortable with sex, nudity and technology so maybe it won't be as slutty? I'd say the legal is good. The "it's out of your control now" is good. Any horror stories you can find about those images getting circulated against people's wishes is good. The notion that the boy, undoubtedly share the image with his friends is something to point out. discreet sex encounters Sioux LookoutNormally, I'd say a lie detector test has no place in a relationship, and if you can't base the relationship on mutual trust and respect, then you don't have a relationship (or it's going to end, anyway). But you don't have the basis for a relationship, so this isn't a normal situation. Why? Because you've already demonstrated lying and cheating behavior (so the onus is on you to prove you're trustworthy), and your BF has some character trait (whatever it is) which caused him to be locked away from society. So . that being said, what have you got to lose? If you take the test and fail, or he fails, the relationship's probably over anyway. Trust cannot grow from this. But if you both pass, there is a *slight* you can clear the air and agree to start over. *BUT* I'd only do this ONCE with the clear understanding that it's a one-time event, never to be repeated. Tell him you feel it's embarrassing and disrespectful doesn't matter if he thinks it's no big deal, it IS a big deal to you and he should respect that. You'll do it once to clear the air, but no more. If you can't build mutual trust after that, then there's no anyway. At the FIRST sign of mistrust or lying behavior after the test, I'd advise either of you to pack bags and say goodbye. BTW I wonder about his reasons for asking you what questions you would ask. This is suspicious, as though he's been preparing his answers. I'd change the questions to come at the same issues from a different. And I have to ask How since he's been off parole? What was he convicted of? What significant changes has he made to ensure he's not tempted to repeat that behavior? free sex classifieds
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