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you do have the right to a relationship with open communication, compromise, and respect for each other. She doesn't have that respect for you, and is unwilling to compromise. And I'll bet the communication about this issue broke down ago, she wouldn't have responded with those words, " Fuck off don't ever tell me how to dress or act again " How to deal with it I'm not sure you can, when it's reached an impasse as great as this. You've already closed those doors to where she's not willing to open it again. You could try this Choose a time when you're both in a good mood (not after sex more like a kitchen table sort of talk). Start by calmly telling her how you feel. Refrain from making any judgments about her dress or behavior, or even the tips just focus on calm, rational talk about whether the money is worth sacrificing your feelings and her own self-respect. I doubt your offer to make up for her tips work since her tips are money *she* is earning by her own power or whatever. And your suggestion just sounds like buying her off. It's a cheap shot. Her motivation for dressing and behaving more modestly have to come out of respect for herself, and respect for your feelings. Nothing more. Or, you have to find your own power to ignore the jealousy and realize her loyalties are with YOU (if they are) and she's just putting on a show for the money. If you or she can't find that within yourselves, then sadly, your relationship probably won't survive. Sorry. pussy in Natal azAnd I totally agree. I do NOT know what I'm doing. This is why I'm here, trying to work it out. Because if you remember from the first thread, I've never touched on any kind of office crossover at all. My last post was a whirlwind of stances and it's true, I'm letting my head wander different directions because *I do not know what I am doing*. Does that disqualify me from trying to get it right? I also kind of expected people would give me shit about mentioning my gear. Again, a very novel thing for me, needed for the interview. I do not get to dress up very often and it was not for him. It made me more confident and it made me happy. I wasn't doing cartwheels down the aisle, I just felt good about myself. Last time I checked, having a little confidence in yourself was a good thing. black women dating white men
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