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Something that's happening to me at a rate of speed now, that's surprising, unexpected, and I have no control of it, really (not that I'm wanting any control of it). It's just happening and a lot. It feels as if all of those classes in meditation and relaxation techniques that I taught when I was in my fourties(?) and all of my 'spiritual' books that I read mostly back then, that I keep in my library now(?) it all made sense to me then, but it was all a pale reflection of what Mother Nature is dishing out to me now, in the name of 'enlightenment'. I always had compassion for my husband, including when he became my former husband, and even when he was *hideous*. But I had a measure of Big Fear, and not enough backbone, to really deal with him. Now, our conversations are dominated by the presence of my Big, and I'm met with these silences from him, and more sweetness. He senses a change, and he's somewhat taken back. Then, there's other things that have taken shape in other significant relationships that I have. It's all clear, understandable, and fitting, really. This 'Goddess business' that I kid about is actually something that I take to heart. I want my candle to burn all the way down before I pass on. I want to all the way. Which is what's happening now. Gonna go polish my furniture now! God, I housekeeping!!! (not kidding) Big, Your nutty internet pal!!! Kressbronn am Bodensee women Kressbronn am BodenseeI know you're going thru a tough time now. Sorry about that. It does get easier with time. Here's something that helped me. I started my days with a brief creative visualization what I was going to do, all the good things that were going to happen, saw myself enjoying my life. As I switched gears from one segment of my day to another (office, gym, dinner, sleep, etc.), I took a few minutes to create the next segment. I also gave myself time ea day to grieve. I parked my car on a busy street I would scream, cry, talk outloud, whatever. I also left myself messages at work, home, cell to acknowledge my progress and to take inventory of what works well in my life. At the end of the evening, I reviewed my day. I saw myself doing all the things I did that day being successful and being happy. I made structural changes in the bedroom so that I could create new memories. Replaced furniture, painted the walls, new linens. I also went on a vacation to Jamacia. I tought about my ex when I was there and had some sad moments, but sheer force of my, stepped forward. These activities worked for me, they help you too. Good Luck. over 40 dating
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