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seeking very hairy I agree with F_ADuck, you need to find a format to express your needs. Right now you are in a co-dependent situation, and you are carrying the burden. Somehow you need to start being who you need to be, and to vocalize your needs. Hopefully you can do this in a way that your spouse can understand without the spouse triggering off a panic reaction. I agree that a counselor can help you find YOUR VOICE in a manner that your spouse can hear it. It's better to do this, than to let the frustration build up to a point when you feel you have to get out. Hopefully you'll find a middle ground.
granny fucking Newark Yes we have only been married for 3 years. What does that have to do with anything? It's all relative. What if we were millionaires, would our marriage length still matter? I have suggested counseling and attempted to reconcile our differences but she is unable to even face me at this point and has acted very cold and distant. She is playing the victim card and not complied with the ground rules that WE established. Not to bore you with the details but we both agreed not to involve our families in how we divide our finances, it's simply not their business. Yet she ed my sister last week demanding a financial plan from me and ing me crazy. Also, she stated at the beginning of our separation that "we not other people", yet she has admitted to getting involved with another guy but according to her "nothing has happened". Our marriage was a double standard that worked in her favor. I want to be prepared and I appreciate the comments and ideas that have been suggested here. I'm sure you are right about her having a price (I took that as sarcastic and rude) but if she is unwilling to communicate or share her thoughts on dividing our assets I have to assume she is going to move forward in a self-serving manner. This way I am protected. I've read a lot about how men are disadvantaged in divorce settlements simply for being men. Her retirement fund I was referring to is a ROTH that we contributed to from a joint bank account. ROTH -'s are taxed up front as oppposed to a k that I have through my job. So whatever the current value when she withdraws it is completely tax free. My K which came completely out of my salary pre-tax be taxed at my retirement age and as we all know taxes aren't going down. So not only does she want part of my k that never touched her paycheck, she is trying to protect the value of her ROTH that we BOTH put money into. I've suggested we just it even because of tax implications. I've been told by a lawyer that the difference in the principle value of the mortgage at the time of our marriage and the time we divorce is what should be divided. @Revamped your comment about it being a rental is a little one-sided. Why should I lose everything that I put into increasing the value of the house and home equity while she keeps all the proceeds if she were to sell the house? looking for real rocker chick
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