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Hey guys, I have been a homo for 15 years now and have only dated one guy (about 13 years ago for months). I have had my share of one night stands and gym steam room sex, but have always wanted more, so I don't engage very often in casual sex. Although I am probably above average in looks, I don't really get much male attention and when I do try to flirt or talk to other guys, I get the total brush off. This has compounded over the years, eating away at self-esteem and confidence. I tried to meet somebody the other day for a first date via and was terrified of rejection and failure so I canceled. This experience has made me realize how little self esteem I have when it comes dating and I don't know what to do about it. The thing I have been telling myself is that, it seems like such a superficial thing to be worried about, being "undatable and undesirable". I have my basic human needs met (employed, with a roof over my head, food to eat, etc) and I have it a lot easier than the majority of the population on this earth, all of which I am grateful for So, I am trying to just come to terms with this. It isn't the worst thing in the world to be "undatable" and perpetually single how to I come to accept this, but not in a feel sorry for myself kind of way. Should I just find a good therapist??!?! Thanks 02 bbw dating Englewood FloridaSo, the other day bf and I had a discussion about $$ and who should pay for what. My point was that, as I do not have an ownership stake in his home (I pay rent), I shouldn't have to pay for things like upkeep and improvements to the home. BF agreed and that was that. But his response didn't sit right with me because it was clear that he hadn't really EVER considered WHEN we might be joining finances, becoming a "team" and, well, committing to togetherness for the term. And me being me, after a day or two of worrying/wondering about it, I broached the subject of term togetherness with BF. Frankly, I thought we HAD committed to that when we agreed to move in together, but that BF needed a few months to make sure that, under the same roof, we all worked well together. He and I are very, very happy with each other. He told me, when I couldn't stop myself from raising the issue of "what about the, term do you us together? Is that what you want?" that I was the best thing to ever happen to him and that he didn't want to "push me away" with his failure to act/plan for the future. He can't quite articulate just WHAT he needs or wants for the future. He just keeps saying that he's not accustomed to thinking about his future and that doing so makes him very anxious (he has anxiety issues anyway). From my point of view, at this point in our relationship, seeing a future together should fill him with happiness, not anxiety. He's going to make an appt with his therapist to if he can work through his issues. In the meantime, I'm not sure what to do. I am afraid of what the therapy turn up, but that's not rational if the therapy reveals some deep-seated crap, it's better to know that now, right? If it's just not ever going to happen, I need to know that, too. I feel very passive right now, but I've stated my piece and need to let him figure out HIS plans and desires. I don't think there's anything I can do. I guess I'm just anxious where, a week ago, I would have said I was feeling very secure. Damn. dating a friend
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