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ca65 girls in Tifton wanting sexI've become intrigued though now by this idea of judgment, since (I can't help it) the judgment has been made that I am judgmental. And I'm sorry if I'm thinking out loud a bit, Bean, since you not be responding, but if anyone wishes to I would be very happy to hear her thoughts. So, since, for the sake of argument, I have a greater than average amount of judgmentalness, I am wondering what exactly the difference is between being judgmental and simply judgment. I mean, my understanding of judgment is that it is the process by which a person takes facts, impressions, prior knowledge, new knowledge, observation, etc and puts them all together when confronted with a new situation to "judge" or understand it, make connections, make decisions, etc. So, where is that fine line between doing that and becoming judgment al ? When one becomes disapproving because of the conclusion they have made? Or is there something more or less? And, more to the point, is it possible to do the former (make judgments) without doing the latter (being judgmental)? Is it possible to live a life in which we disapprove of nothing? Is that desirable? What if I (or you, or anyone) were not disapproving of torture? This seems like an awful idea, so I have to wonder if having standards and expectations of behavior (now identified as a required part of the social contract) means that being judgmental is also some part of the social contract? Or is there a way to tease those two things apart so they are not mutually dependent? Is being judgmental in moderation acceptable, and only becomes unacceptable (and therefore worthy of the judgment of others) when it crosses some certain threshold? What is the threshold? adult personal
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you need to sit down and talk. No bullshit, no drama, no emotions. Just fact finding. She obviously doesn't communicate well. Maybe she internalizes too much and just can't figure the words out in a timely fashion. Both of you need to sit down with a cup of something and no distractions and figure out where the malfunction began, and why on Christmas it ended. As for the "She ruined my Christmas" garbage? Look, I sympathize with you. I really do. The glitz, the glamor, the chestnuts roasting on an open fire. It sucks when you have the idea all in your head and life throws you a curve ball. But that is exactly it. "Life is what happens while you are planning for it." Get over the Christmas thing. You could easily salvage your New Years by sitting down and giving a fair amount of your attention to listening to her talk. don't jump in with a solution, LISTEN to where her problems are. And then ASK her what she sees as a solution. Offer yours when she is done, and ask if she is willing to help solve the problems. But you have to want it, you have to be patient as you find out. Does she mean enough to you to save things? Proceed from there. buff Derry New Hampshire guy wanting older woman
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