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give me more than complaints of soda and ovaltine to convince me that those two things are breaking the bank. More so I'd say it's having 2 depending on two adults who only have one income. Things I think you could do: *go over the and ask him to hand over the finances to you *go over the and ask to formulate a plan that gives a light at the end of the tunnel for which all debts be paid and a nest egg starts, ask for half of the controls of the finances *re-affirm a vow to each other for financial solidarity in equal financial partnership *figure out a way to bring in some of your own income no matter how small (can you babysit other? work part time? do you have any special skills you could share with others like music lessons, tuturing, housekeeping, pet sitting?) I'm sure a decent amount of the problem is him fucking up but it's also you stepping up and stepping in. You can't sit back and passively let shit happen and it needs to be clear to him that neither can he. It also take tries to get through to him. So be prepared to have conversations with him and not lose your temper. You also have to creatively think about the solutions you need in place; like functioning on cash only, shopping differently, rethinking the reward systems you have at your house, hiding or cutting up the credit cards, only Christmas presents, shopping second hand only for a while. There should be no more "asking" to be involved in the finances, I would be flat out TELLING that I'm involved and I expect to go over the every single month. You are a SAHM, you ought to be able to get the mail easy enough and then funnel it all to your address. Part of this IS him fucking up but part of it YOU needing to take the reins. women sex partner from SeasideThe primary problem is not in black and white, it's green, and not the good trendy eco green. I mean old fashioned money greed green. The formula for calculating support is based on the income of each parent and the amount of time the spend with each parent. If, for example, the parent’s incomes are roughly equal and joint physical custody is granted, little or no support changes hands. But ..FOC can maximize the support (and their Title IV-D kickback) by awarding maximum physical custody to the lowest wage earner (usually mom). It takes much less effort for FOC to arbitrarily award custody in current and new custody cases to suit their own financial advantage than to track down and collect on old "deadbeat" cases. It has nothing to do with the best interest of the, or fair and equitable parenting rights. Custody is granted by what maximizes the court’s Title IV-D revenue? FOC'S mission is to advocate for the best interest of the and yet the Title IV-D financial incentives create a conflict of interest within the legal system. Despite the preponderance of evidence showing the benefits of having both active parents, the Court is financially motivated to award physical custody to one parent, specifiy the parent with the lower income, (statistiy mom). Looking at the statistics cited in Mr. Ledbetter’s article, it’s obvious in whose interest FOC is acting. In this country we have legal protections against discriminatory housing practices, hiring policy etc, but there is no legal protection for the rights of divorced parents. The very legal system developed to protect the rights of citizens can and 92% of the time does, strip divorced fathers of that which is most to them, their own, with no explanation, no oversight and prohibitively difficult recourse. continued local casual sex
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