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Ask The Expert: ‘Am I undatable because I’m HIV+?’ Kort By Kort, relationship expert 11:00am EDT Question: I have a good job. I am athletic and health oriented. I am the boy next door. I live right outside of one of the largest and gayest cities in the world. I have awesome family and friends. Oh, and I happen to have HIV. Because of the latter, all the other traits I can bring to the table seem not to matter when it comes to dating. I have tried HIV dating websites and social events but I have been unsuccessful. Since my status does not define me and I do not like limiting myself to just HIV+ guys, I am open to dating anyone who fits into what I look for in a. Although the statistics amongst urban males regarding HIV seem like this would not be an issue in , it still is. My question is how do I deal with HIV stigma and dating without giving up? Signed, Seriously single and losing. Dear SSLH, I that you do not define yourself by your health status! Leading with who you are as a person rather than your health status as your primary image of yourself is going to shape your dating experiences. Using one’s status as an excuse or feeling victimized by it is a recipe for poor self-esteem and bad dating experiences. I agree that even in the HIV stigma exists among men—and straight men and women as well for that matter. I had a client who is very handsome, physiy in great shape with everything a partner could want in a in terms of both looks and personality. He experimented on dating sites by posting two different profiles; one, which doesn’t mention his HIV status, and one that does. He received more inquiries than he can handle when he left his HIV status off and considerably less when he added it to his information. FULL STORY: sex partners Clawson MichiganLook I am in no shape to give advice yet as my wife just moved out weeks ago and yesterday into her own place. Duck has given me some of the same advice and he is spot on. I am taking this time to work on myself. Whether we get back together or not it only improve me and if we get back together it improve us as a couple. I would not rush in. My wife and I are getting along better then we have in a very time but we are not spending really anytime alone. We have 4 very so we need to deal with each other for them and so far it is going well. Listen to duck. I almost convinced my wife to come home this weekend but remembered his advice and stopped dead and instead went back to what is the right thing. Take our time and get better on our own. Then once happy on our own work on seeing if we can be happy together but SLOWLY. It hurts like hell but it is the right thing. I just keep reminding myself that this could be the start of a great new chapter for us both together. And if it doesn't work out we know we tried to do it the right way. marriage sluts
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