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with perspectives from both D/tops and s/bottoms. I'll talk from my perspective, this isn't me representing anyone but myself even tho I'm gonna talk in generals. >"In your dynamic, what constitutes being a "good girl"? " He's given me a mantra from one of our first scenes over the phone several years ago "good girls get to cum, bad girls get nothing". This question brought that right to mind. Automagical :). In our dynamic, "good girl" means I'm being genuine and taking in my submission. It means I'm being forthright and communicative instead of internalizing and shutting down. It means I'm backing up my words here and on fet and wherever I chose to participate in kink discussion with sincerity and action in our personal dynamic. "Good girl" is usually delivered to me spontaneously, when I'm least working for it and instead being more organic. "Good girl" means I'm being true to myself, my desires and what he's learned about me. A "bad girl"? ( not to be confused with naughty) A bad girl is willfully wantonly manipulative. She say she is yours to control and then sabotage interactions by trying to control things herself. She does not have the best interests of herself or the dynamic at heart and she's willing to sacrifice in submission for temporary control of the moment. I'm not talking about being a doormat but I am talking about acting like I take greater pleasure out of being cunning and deceitful over being real and honest. A bad girl capitalizes on hesitation from her top or Dom. She's a calculating little manipulator. At least that's what is going through my mind when I know I'm being "bad". It has a feeling it's not a *cackle cackle I'm going to get him good *menacing glare* sort of feeling I don't feel the need to undermine him but I do get this feeling quite quickly that what I'm doing brings me no and no release no freedom from stress. In fact, it burdens me ly and I start to feel all heavy like I'm hiding behind a lie and just want out of it. There's not a shred of charm, felicity, cheer or amusement in it. For either of us. -cont- just need a lover in her 30 s or 40 s
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