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I wouldn't bat an eye at an added service charge. There are very few places in the US who have them, but the few who do in Seattle are dividing the charge more equitably between the front of the house and the kitchen, which goes a way in addressing the disparity in pay between the two. Any service issues would be something I'd take to the manager on duty, albeit with some informed observation first. And all that said, having just survived a truly hellacious job, I can say with certainty that most problems stem from inadequate training and support, rather than personal failings on the servers themselves. I saw quite clearly our servers were understaffed and blamed by the chef for the problems caused by understaffing. Of course I felt bad for the customers, we did our best to send out complimentary plates of stuff, but enough from above certainly lead to a server's attitude of not giving a shit. The veteran pros would prefer not to feel that way, but it definitely got to a point where it became a matter of self-protection at the expense of the customer. I got to that point as well a few times, hence my comment about informed observation: I can smell fear in a restaurant, and I can figure out in a glance what's going on in terms of staffing and training. For the sake of not bringing extra trouble, I might choose to either keep quiet or ask a sympathetic and carefully worded question first before making a complaint. The best choice well be to simply not come back. My experience is obviously well outside the curve though, I doubt the average patron would pick up on any of this, nor would I expect them to. give me what i want ill give you what you wantHe was 29 when you married him, you were 19, just entering adulthood. He left his mommma's house and molded you into his new momma. And you took the bait, hook, line, and sinker. He does the bare minimum to justify his existence. He "keeps an eye on the -" (when he's able to tear himself up from his video games now and then), while you manage all of the adult responsibilities, at work and at home, alone. You come home and do all the housework. You enable a dependent in a -'s body, and even worse, your are watching this piss-poor example set by both you and your husband. Your examples teach them that mothers do everything, and fathers are deadbeat users. If you don't break the pattern for yourself, do it for them. Now, if he managed homemaking like a SAHD who took the job seriously, that would be honorable. He's not even pretending to. You know it, he knows it, and sadly, the know it, too. What, did you fall asleep in the tanning bed or something? Forget that marriage is supposed to be a partnership? How can you say he's always been a freeloader, but you him? What's to? You've created a monster. He feels entitled to ride on your back and live off of your labors for the duration. He won't change his behavior until you change yours. You want real change? Set a deadline. Put him on notice. Either he gets a job in one month, and he remains employed, or he packs up his things (minus the video games) and moves in with his momma. You didn't sign up for that job, and you quit. He should understand that concept. He quit working a time ago. Or, you can go on with business as usual. how the lasts as your resentment grows. If you choose that option, cross your fingers, and the are smart enough to imprint on better examples of what, marriage, and parenting can be, and should be. Sorry to whack you upside the head, but you know these things already. It's only a question of whether you're ready to act on it. big beautiful women
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