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First I want to say hi to everyone on here. I'm not divorced yet .not ready to give up I guess. I've been with my husband for just about 14yrs. now, but for the last 3yrs. we have only lived together for 3mo. He lives in another state not much of a marriage, but unfortunately I happen to this. There has been a lot of hurtful things said done on both ends, I'm not trying to get on here say what a horrible person he is, we are both at fault in our own accord .Where I am is I'm not sure if it's worth all the pain I'm feeling to try to keep holding on to something that seems to be too far gone now. We have two together and I would nothing more than to them grow in a loving home with both of their parents .I'm not saying that's the best reason to stay with someone. I just always thought when I married someone decided to have with that person that he would be the one I'd be sitting on the porch with when I was old .I know .stupid right? To try to shorten my start, the thing is he is in another state like I said with no intention of ever coming back, I did go up there for 3months, it didn't work out there, My I did not have anyone, we sat in the house every day while he worked, I was away from my family friends I started to get depressed .I couldn't do it any longer, so I left . I thought he would say alright lets go home, that has been a year now of going back and forth on the phone, I won't go there he won't come here :( I'm just looking to try to get some real advice, no rude comments please. girls of Green City Missouri heights Green City Missouriwhat you seem to have are several problems here. 1. He isn't working and you want for him to find a job. 2. Your self esteem, his possible addiction. As for number one, talk to him and discuss possible job options for him. Do you know if he is or isn't applying for jobs between porn stops? Have you offered to help him with his resume or cover letters? Would that help? If you aren't comfortable with being a one income family, you need to talk about it right away. If you feel that he isn't contributing in other ways (like cleaning etc) then talk about it right away. As for the porn, he have an addiction, or he be having a difficult time finding free porn that gets him off. If you aren't interested in sex, you can't blame him for needing a sexual release. Are you thinking there is something more he could do to get you in the mood? When you are in the mood, does he turn you down? I personally don't have a problem with my husband looking at porn, so as our sex life doesn't suffer. I'm know he finds me attractive and isn't going to leave me because of something he saw in porn once. He married me because he wants to spend his life with me, not a porn. Would it help you to remember that you are his reality, and he chose you? Porn can be an escape, especially if he hasn't found more productive things to do (like volunteer work, projects around the house, job hunt). You aren't ugly or unattractive unless you convince yourself otherwise. I understand how you would have hurt feelings, but be sure to seperate the different issues here. lonely married wives
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