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It's not your job to get your father to change, attempting to cause frustration, anger and resentment on both sides. Relationships ALL relationships involve acceptance of people's faults and working around them, not trying to manipulate them into YOUR version of who they should be. It isn't as easy as it sounds hence divorce rates, standing friendships that end, job dissatisfaction, and endless list. There is a part of human nature that wants to control their environment and you'll it every day. An example would be in the work place how often do we hear people talk about what they would do if they were the boss and question the actions taken. It's out of their control and they believe they know the solutions. You ARE growing and as you have your parents are becoming human and you're asking how you let one of them in on their faults. Comes from some good things like wanting to improve a relationship, thinking that HIS life would be better (very wrong thinking there but I feel it's because you care) and it comes from some selfish motivations. Like you putting yourself into a position of needing him and facing these things every day that isn't his fault, its yours. YOU are contributing to the breakdown of your relationship with your father by being there. Think hard, don't you have friends that you really care about that you wouldn't want to live with? Things about them you don't think are right but hey, they are a friend and you them for who they are you don't HAVE to deal with their shit day in and day out. That's no different than this it really isn't. We're not talking about or physical acts of violence here, we are talking about personality. He's still with all this asshole aspects they same guy who is giving you a place to stay, who had you do book reports, talked to you when you were - him for it and accept the rest and get out so it's easy. And for fuck sake, leave the rest of the family out of it. No more behind his back talk with the rest of the 'gang' who jump on board. Have YOUR relationship with him your mom and him are divorced so as an adult act like one. Get your place to stay, either deal with a roommate or realize if you can't because of an animal you aren't truly ready to care for one on your own. Hard choices adult choices. attractive man 4 woman wed thursdayHaugen is right that the marriage divide is largely generational, and in reading her candid statement, I couldn't help thinking that this is how my parents felt when I told them I was, when I met my partner, and when we got married. Growing up in conservative households, they both had what seemed at the time unshakeable convictions about homosexuality. At the tail end of the '90s, meant AIDS, and even once I convinced them that I might get through life without contracting HIV, they still thought that the "- lifestyle"—which in their imagination must have consisted of meth-fueled orgies and cross-dressing—led inexorably to unhappiness. Years passed without their nerdy, neurotic kid starring in a porno, and they begrudgingly came to accept that I'd quite simply grown into a nerdy, neurotic adult. But they ed my boyfriend my "friend" until I'd had enough and made a stink about it, after which they reluctantly gave in, ing him—haltingly, under their breath—"your boyfriend." By the time we got married a year ago, they just ed him, and they drove all the way from Arizona to Washington. (my mom is deathly afraid of flying) for the wedding. Having your core beliefs challenged is indeed uncomfortable, and it takes courage. I'm partially making fun of my parents here, and there's a lot that's funny—my mom once asked me, after I told her that I was helping coordinate Trans Awareness Week at Yale, "Are you transgender now?" But the point is that having a challenged of their expectations and forced them to change. This process wasn't short—it took ten years—and to say it was "uncomfortable" for them is an understatement. Absolutism is comfortable. This is why those on the other side of the marriage divide often talk about how "commonsense" their opposition is and assail people like Haugen for being "moral relativists." But rather than representing a lack of conviction, Haugen's respect for those who believe and live differently from her is its own ethic—one that forms the basis for a humane and equitable society. mature womens
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