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I my husband dearly, but I don't know what to do. Almost 5 years we have been together and we have had wonderful times, and still do often. BUT, he never wants to make time for me. By no means am I clingy female, I'm content to do my own thing at times and for him to as well. But he never wants to do his own thing, just stay at home and have me here too, and just insists that I sit with him while he does something stupid like watch tv until he falls asleep. Our sex life is suffering. I've a very large sexual appetite. I have kept my body in shape even through bearing our and know that I am attractive. I know he is attracted to me. But sex is becoming a chore because I only get a small window of opportunity to seduce him before he passes out, usually before the do. I try to be understanding. I know he works and gets tired. I get it. I work too and I get tired. I most of the work around the house because I don't work full time and I try to keep him from getting bogged down with too things to do. But he is passing out at 6 or 7 in the evening. Often from sheer laziness because he lay on the couch when he gets home and not move. He is not working brutal hours. He often does this after plenty of sleep and only working a 6 hour day. I'm getting fed up. I want to have sex and I voice it to him often, try to talk to him about what I happening, and suggest that maybe if he just keeps from laying down early in the day, it would help. He literally screams at me and tells me I'm being a pain in his ass. That he is tired and to leave him the fuck alone. I've woken up to him already inside me times, and never did I scream or bitch that his wasn't convenient. I went with it and enjoyed it. I don't how this is fair I feel like I am always waiting for the weekend because he is tired throughout the week. Friday night he is still tired. I work every saturday and am often very tired as well, but still make an attempt. This is such bullshit because I know he isn't trying a bit. I'm on the verge of telling him if he won't give it to me then I get it elsewhere. I'm tired of always trying and being rejected because he is being a moody asshole. very mature MalaysiaIn practice, it doesn't ever seem to work. I repeat a lot of positive affirmations to myself in my head, only to have the angry, ugly inner voice snark at the affirmations and remind me of how stupid and trite they all are. I'm quite crazy, unfortunately, but intelligent enough to reason/do combat with any kindness I might throw my own way. It would be sort of funny if it didn't keep me so fucking down. You know, sometimes I think "I'll feel sexy if I dress up as he likes and entice him, and spark his interest." But I feel foolish most of the time when I do these days, and I also feel like I'm breaking my promise to myself to NOT be the sexual initiator. It really bothers me when I do that, but honestly the last time he initiated without any hinting from me was A) over a month ago and B) when I was sleeping. Which seems to be the case so frequently! He never demands or requests sex when we're both awake just when he wakes in the middle of the night with an erection. Then I get the feeling he doesn't want me when we're both conscious. :/ But if I made good on my word and never initiated, I'd never get laid. And I'm so incredibly sexual at the core, that I would be even more miserable then than now. I'm so rambly. :/ I just feel a lot of mixed-up bad things right now and I wish I could really make it stop, instead of putting my fingers in my ears and shouting "LALALA," y'know? professional dating service
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