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It is all I can do to not be a wreck. Does anyone feel like this? I have loved this women for nigh on 17 years now. We spend every moment we can together. She is my best friend. Fun dates, walks, coffee, a great life. She has been travelling a lot in the last year, and I seriously am starting to lose my shit. Anxiety, no focus, longing, pain. I can't tell her this because I don't want her to worry or ruin her experience so I am spilling my guts here. Why is it so hard for me? I don't want it to be this way. Part of it I know is jealousy. She gets to go away and have a vacation. I am stuck back here with all the same responsibilities; every day stress, no escape, but what is worst of all, nobody to talk to like I talk to her. I can't imagine if she ever left this earth with out me. At least now I have the expectation of her returning. It hurts, I haven't allowed myself to cry, but writing this down is making it awfully in here. I feel so inadequate without her. SO damn lonely. I have cleaned the house, done all the yard work, folded laundry, gone to work, grocery shopping all in a day and a half. The only thing that helps is staying busy, but I am getting so damn bored doing these things with out her. Does anyone have any miracle advice to help ease the pain in my heart? Why am I so pathetic? bbw dating in cape town
That made me insecure? Well.. Theres about a billion.. When I met him, he was a addict, I fell in regardless.. However when we started to get serious, I stopped being "ok" with someone with issues as extensive as that. He stopped doing whatever he was doing apparently.. we moved in together on the premises that there would be no or use in our home a few weeks later I found a "hidden" bottle of xanax prescribed for like 15 days earlier and there was none pill popping.. which made me feel very uncomfortable in my own home.. another thing, i went on vacation to a friends home for a week.. the minute he dropped me off at the train, he went to visit some girl he ed "-" via text message midnight before. and when I came home, I found out he watched a billion pornos and tried to hide that from me also.. these are only a few things, but the main ones that are issues still. Basco Illinois naked girlsI, as a grown woman, can ignore the bad and hilight the good but in the case of raising, can we really afford to ignore the negative and hilight only the good? What does that teach our? I could for example, choose to not pay my bills ignoring the bad of my credit rating being trashed and the harm I am doing to my creditors who gave me an with the promise to pay and how that would affect their business is kind of irresponsible, no? Even focusing on how great the house we live in is, how smooth the new car is that we ride in and how great that meal or vacation was that I put on our credit card still leaves a moral issue does it not? I suppose it's from my single father parenting that I learned things: we do the best we can with what we have, we work honestly and hard and we strive to fulfill our promises and responsibilities..sometimes we fail, but failure from trying is much better than failure from doing nothing. I don't think those are bad traits and need to learn..from us. In the case of divorce and lack of responsible parenting on one persons part, is it not in the -'s best interest to KNOW what parental responsiblitity really means what responsibility means? It's not just about money it's about time, compassion and at some points in a parent's life, sacrifice. That's just my opinion. nz dating
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