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Should you be annoyed because your husband changed his mind about counseling? No. That's water under the bridge. Being mad about it won't change the past so let go of the resentment. Should you go to marriage counseling even if you're not interested in making the marriage work? I don't think you mentioned how you've married. IMO, these are a few of things worth thinking about. 1) Did the marriage EVER work? If no, I doubt you can save it. 2) You say the problems are term. You also say you're a yeller with a short fuse. How bad is the conflict? How often do fights get vicious? If you're marriage is characterized by chronic high-level conflict, get on with the separation and go to individual counseling. Married or divorced, you need to learn better ways to handle conflict. Trust me, the first few years of divorce be filled with conflict and it's crucial you learn how to keep YOUR side of the street clean for the sake of your. 3) If there was once a tight bond and you're both reasonably mature, it IS possible marriage counseling can improve your marriage. It's okay to be ambivalent about whether you want it to work. say it's a good idea even if you're divorcing cause divorce isn't the end. You'll be dealing with the father of your your entire life. But marriage counseling IS a crap shoot. It's not a magic bullet and it's rarely easy.. If housework is a constant stressor, hire a house-cleaner. Any marriage counselor give you this advice. hot Massanutten cougars
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dating ad Hursi hot-button issues by specifying the specifics. A therapist suggested I do that to defuse an issue that was a source of chronic conflict in my family. It worked extremely well: peace broke out within a week. So I know EXACTLY why you don't want to leave any aspect of the issue open to interpretation. Our conflict was similar: Party A (me!) felt Parties B, C, and D weren't trying hard enough to meet/prepare for a specific annual obligation. Party A found herself voicing resentment six months before and six months after said annual obligation. The resentment grew stronger each year, which led to heated rehashes of who did what when last year, and the year before, and the year before. I'm ashamed it went on so. The therapist forced me to be specific: What precisely did I want? By what date would task X need to be completed for me to recognize sufficient progress? By what dates would tasks Y and Z need to be completed for me to recognize sufficient progress? She had me write a contract. The other parties were free to ask for modifications in advance; but once signed, it was gonna be "official procedure" and I was to shut-up, back-off, and mind my own business, as as the conditions/deadlines in the contract were met. Miraculous! Plenty of tasks continued to be completed at the last minute, but I kept my part of the deal by shutting up; and others kept theirs by meeting the deadlines we'd agreed on. Obviously, it would be ridiculous to use this technique in ALL matters. But IMO it is a great way to clarify and defuse a CHRONIC issue. So, I totally understand where you're coming from. *** That said, I still want to encourage you to negotiate something that WORKS. I could be wrong, but I read a few of your posts as hoping overkill fail, your husband be sorry he ever suggested this, and you'll be off the hook forever. A lot of posters to the whole idea, but I don't think they understand. You and I both know your MIL ain't going away. Your husband's not going to disown her or stop wanting you to accept what he and she (consciously or subconsciously) view as her rightful role as matriarch. SO, while I understand your to heed the "letter of the law," I caution you against using it to sabotage a request that seems outlandish to Americans, but ANY Indian would well understand. really fun times nsa
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