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You mention an 18 year old, I'm assuming there are also younger involved. My ex had two and I went through all of it dealing with their mother. Eventually I had to step back from the details of their interaction. They are the mother and father of these, they have to make their own decisions. You've taken on a lot of baggage and it won't end until the last one is grown up and support is over even then she still be in their lives. Adults things are between adults. You the and show them that, but if it comes down to issues between mom and dad, you just need to tell them you them but their mom and dad have to work things like that out. Otherwise your life be consumed with their drama and trust me, your marriage won't survive. I did a lot of fighting on behalf of my stepchildren to provide them with the first stable home life they had in years and to show them what a normal life was like. You can do all of this without getting involved in things like support and a backpack. And as far as "paying for meals", ask the 18 year old how he would like to deal with it. Maybe he wants to show up with a grocery bag of food for the weekend. Maybe the easy way out is to give him $20 to run to McDs for every meal. Ask him what he thinks it would take for this to not be a problem for him. Ironiy after my ex and I split, the mother decided to take my advice and go into counseling. No for dad, he chose his path and it didn't include his. Continuing to fight with her was more important than what was best for the. But she did come out of it with a healthier way of dealing with the, their disappointments and their relationship with their father. I would say that if any of this influences their attitude or school, family counseling on your side is in order. Bottom line, you are on the sidelines of this and the two of them have to choose how they are going to deal with the and each other. It isn't your fight. If you can your husband and your stepchildren and put the rest of that stuff out of your mind, support them without taking sides, and just them it be enough. Or as in my case, it not be. swm seeking or Milford ConnecticutSomebody hopped up on my garage roof, jumped in a 2nd-floor window and took my video games. Since that's all he took and nobody was home at the time, I consider it a lucky break that motivated me to improve security. I ed my precinct and they sent over a safety officer to conduct an evaluation of my house. As per his advice, I put clips/stops in my 2nd story windows* (as I'd already done on my 1st floor). I'm also installing longer strike plates with longer screws into my exterior doors and putting bars on my basement windows. (He peeled off the wood on one of them, so that was a warning to me too.) I also collected serial on all of my electronics (whew) and sent it to myself in an. And we're leaving lights on when we leave the house. *I never imagined that my 2nd story windows were an entry point, but the cop said it's really common. Even after all I'm doing, if someone really wants to get in, he could find a way, but I'm making it a lot harder. (This wasn't true in my case but he said another common tactic is to walk in an open door while you're out in the yard.) Take a few simple steps to protect yourself. lonely single mum
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