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would love to please a woman and her to please me You've been married for years and it seems like a "typical" marriage in that nothing's perfect but you get along and seem to generally be going in the same direction. Up to this point in your narrative the only thing I can that is wrong on any count is that you don't seem to be too head-over-heels about your wife and give no indication that you ever were. You say that you her but that she isn't sufficient in and of herself for you. Given this information (and what follows) perhaps you should consider an alternative lifestyle such as being single or discussing an open relationship with your wife. I don't often suggest this, but you just don't strike me as the monogamous type and I think your wife needs to be given the opportunity to decide for herself whether or not she can deal with you as you really are versus who she no doubt thinks you are. Looking back over missed opportunities only makes you human, cheating on your fiancee just before your wedding should have been your first clue that this whole married thing probably wasn't going to work out for you. The subsequent hook-ups (both pending and consummated) should be a further indication that you most likely weren't ready to get married when you did, at least not in the traditional sense. I strongly support the notion that the only rules to being married are the rules that the married couple themselves make at the time they get married (and adjust as necessary while they are married) but the rules need to be fair and they need to be discussed and agreed upon by both parties before implementing them. If you suggest to your wife that you both be allowed to have sex with other people and she agrees, in my mind you have carte so as you maintain yourself inside the parameters of the conditions she sets forth. If she doesn't agree you owe it to her and to yourself to either remain faithful to your wife or do the honorable thing and let her go so she can find someone who can build a more honest relationship with her. ladies lets chill now
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