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I work a 9-to-5 with a salary around $50k a year. He is a music producer who works from home when he's not touring the world (mostly and Canada, but also Europe) and brings in less than half of what I do at this point. He picks up odd jobs here and there (., lighting and sound for a company) to supplement his income. We split all our shared expenses in half (rent, utilities, a credit card we share). I cover my personal bills (., student -) while he covers his car payment and insurance. I'll split the car expenses with him when I get my license and begin driving. When we go on vacation together, we split those costs as well. We have individual bank accounts, and a shared account. We currently use the shared account for vacations, and that's what we'll use to cover expenses for our in the future. We have no shame about income disparity because we both contribute competently and fairly to our shared and individual expenses. We live within our means for the most part, though there is some debt between us which he is paying off in small monthly installments. We don't consider that shameful, just a challenge. gstring i want youI'm sorry you are in this situation. First, because even though you have a good income, your expenses exceed your income and your hubby is still of the mindset that he is earning the big bucks he was earning before. Also, it must be extremely frustrating that he won't listen to you. It sounds like you might need a couples counselor as much as an outside financial adviser, but I would bet Hubby would resist both. As someone who was in a similar situation, I can tell you that harping on it not help. He think you are not supportive or that you are undermining his potential success with negativity. You need to remind him that you him and appreciate his hard work. Do not quibble over which Chinese restaurant is cheaper. In fact, try not to talk about money at all for a while. Then one day, go for a picnic in the park and while he is in a good mood, tell him you need his help. Tell him you are sad. Tell him you are worried about the future. If he loves you, he want to make you happy. He want to help you. Put the ball in his court. But you must insist he start handling the finances or at least sit down with you to go over the bills. Divorce is not the answer. It sounds like you need each other. You have family members whom you have helped in the past with no expectation of repayment. You might have to rely on their help without expectation of repayment. Finally, you should consider filing bankruptcy to get out from under your debt. He might think that is immoral too, but you might have no choice. granny personals
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