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I have been separated from my STBX for a little over 6 months. Divorce in is the works, but these things take time (a lot more time than most of us would like, lol!) I am feeling kind of down and lonely this holiday, thinking of how this Christmas I won't be with my on Christmas morning (PLEASE don't start with the 'kid-owner' crap, I didn't have with any of you difo-ers, when the ex and I discuss our, they are referred to as OUR, and sometimes the.) My problem is this, when the heck people STOP telling me that I be 'happier' once I find someone new? I don't WANT someone new (or old,) I just want to be left alone!! Of course I am going to be lonely, I haven't been alone for 8 yrs! There is nothing wrong with being single, and single people live happy lives (I and assume), so what is the deal with everyone thinking that a new SO is some magic cure for divorce/separation? Do these people NOT realize that if I were to enter into any kind of relationship right now it would most likely be doomed to failure? Plus, I have just been burned, so why in the world would I want to get anywhere NEAR any 'fires'? What do I say to these well meaning crazies? I don't want to be rude, or hurt feelings or anything, but sometimes I want to scream at them that they must be F-ing insane if they think I should go out and hunt up a new fling. I almost felt sorry for my BF the other day she told me 'don't worry, you'll meet someone -' and I yelled at her 'I don't want to meet anyone, anytime!' she just said 'oh, well, ummm, how are the?' I am sure that was not the best way to address the situation, lol, so here I am asking for NICE advice from a forum where not ppl appear to be that nice, so I must be stupid, but I don't know who to ask! One other thing, how DOES one meet new friends, if one happens to be broke all the time and have very little 'free time'? Ledbetter Kentucky girls who will fuck anyoneI run a parent support program for a very at risk population. I deal with a lot of these issues, including issues around incarceration. First, I would NOT bring him to dad in jail. A going through this much needs routine and stability more than anything. Not spanking, not lengthy extreme punishment, not leaping from sport to sport. R-O-U-T-I-N-E. He need to know what to expect, and this takes time and a heck of a lot of from you. For most, it takes at LEAST 10x of repeating a behavior until it's internalized (and if you slip up, it's like you are starting from scratch), but for a with ADHD and ODD, it's going to take more. Jumping from thing to thing only teaches him that if he causes enough grief, you'll give up that strategy, ensuring that he'll do it again. I would highly recommend the video 1-2-3 Magic. Even if you don't go with that particular strategy (though I've seen it work wonders for some tough -) it has some great parenting tips. When I extreme behavior cases, there are a few area we always look at positive reinforcement (there should be at LEAST 4 to 1 positive to negative communication), routine, diet and exercise. You wouldn't BELIEVE how much behavior issues are tied to diet and exercise. If he isn't getting at least and hour a day of sweaty, breathing hard play, while eating a good diet and cutting out sugar, it be nearly impossible to make any additional headway. But the most important factor here is you. YOU need to feel stable and calm and in control and that sounds really difficult while trying to raise a with special needs on your own. I you seek out support join a parenting support group, get a good counselor, a parenting hotline, make some time for yourself. You need to take care of yourself to best take care of him. sexy black women
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