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I heard a lot of that nonsense from my partner as well. It was a defense mechanism due to her own shame and embarrassment. Please don't buy into it. You can't begin to deal with it until every one is being honest without attacking. and I felt for myself and for you that it is just not fair to treat someone as a friend but expect them to stay committed as a lover. It does not allow you to be a whole person in the relationship and it does not allow you to move on and find fulfillment where, and I don't just mean sexually, anytime you cut off a part of yourself your not whole. I also agree that some sort of trauma is likely but until everyone is communicating honestly compassionately and responsibly no change is possible and no change is not an option. married and lonely Mountain Village Alaska
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