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has a history of alcoholism too, and bf's father is always in the background being an ass, and the family puts up with it. I think he simply expects her to tolerate his behaviour based on the precident set by his won family. He threw this big fit after cutting himself while trying to install a new light switch, and then blamed my sister's dog. "well her chewing on that rawhide is irritating." WTF??!! looking for promising Des Moines IowaAnyhow, we sort of fight about this whole thing. She feels insulted and not trusted. I feel hurt. We talk about it, I tell her that I’m not going to ask her to unfriend the ex-bf or stop texting the trainer. I just ask her to understand that I’m having a hard time with it. I also tell her that I’m not accusing her of anything but I just can’t help but to wonder what’s going on. This is Tuesday afternoon. In the back of my mind I’m hoping that she decides on her own to unfriend the ex-bf and stop texting the trainer. The next night (last night) I get home from work and she hasn’t unfriended the ex-bf. I don’t know if she’s continued to text the trainer. She goes to bed early and my stomach is churning again. Again, and wrong and untrusting of me, I check her laptop and FB messages. She has deleted the messages from the ex-bf and deleted the messages between her and her trainer. At this point I’m wondering why she’d do that unless there was something that she wouldn’t otherwise want me to. Again, my stomach is churning. I’m mad. I’m hurt. I go to bed after her and she rolls over. She can probably tell that something is wrong as I sort of ignore her getting close to me. She asks if anything’s wrong and I tell her yes. She asks what and I tell her that it’s nothing we haven’t already discussed. I tell her that I’m still having a hard time accepting this situation but I’d learn to deal with it. dating community
looking for friend for ac ride tomorrow Plus I have a neg. But to clarify Cattail and I have exchanged hundreds of posts on her situation over the course of several years. I have my own saga of injury and recovery and am extremely aware of the effect of. I think cattail knows I very much wish her the best and was addressing an aspect of her story others can't know from a single post. I want to be careful not to tell someone -'s story and I'm of course aware I can be wrong. But I think it's safe to say his is a family with a fragile daughter that's been locked into a dysfunctional dynamic forever. Cattail knows I'm strongly of the opinion that her mother is as guilty, if not more so, of driving that dynamic. Whatever the father's, his offer to visit alone was in my view an effort to break the pattern. Cattail not be ready and that's OKAY. But IMO it would be be beneficial and an important step away from polarized dad-bad/mom-good thinking to RECOGNIZE he's at least trying. And yes, I Cat doing that I was just encouraging it (in my own way). Yelling at a kid is, but subtle manipulation with a smiley face CAN be every bit as soul-sucking and extremely damaging to individuation, yet harder to recognize. And obviously dad is clumsy: the idea of sleeping on her couch for a whole week is ridiculous. That would be too much togetherness even in vastly better circumstances. Nevertheless, it saddened me to mom back in the picture because IMO it'd be a huge step forward for Cat and dad to handle this either way, even with open conflict without mom intruding and manipulating via guilt and the appearance of good-guy gentlesness (masking one hell of a self-serving agenda). I'm not writing this properly don't have time. So let me just say, I wasn't defending dad or minimizing. And cattail, I not have made it clear in other posts, but I totally support a decision to reject his visit. I bring up the fact he's trying to challenge the polarized view of your parents. I saw some of that perhaps erroneously in your comment about his bragging being a sign narcissism. Does your mother not brag about you, as well? Sorry, this is so garbled. It's a half-assed attempt to explain my comment despite not having time to write. naughty Quincy girls
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