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First of all, ask yourself a few questions, because you are dealing with a main triangle of people here, plus extended family members. Ask yourself if this relationship means enough to you that you cannot imagine living your life without this person. If the answer is no, that would be the easiest scenario, just sit your fiancee down and tell him you feel like a third wheel and that he obviously has unfinished business with the ex, and that there's more to it than the -'s well being involved, and that you are quietly stepping out of the picture so they can be one big, happy, disfunctional family! Then walk away, don't look back and get sucked in, and make a fresh start for yourself. If, on the other hand, the answer to your question is YES, YES, YES!! then get your big girl pants on, cuz your're gonna have to become one strong woman and stick to your guns about things. The first thing you do is sit your fiance down and tell him exactly were you are coming from and what you expect of him. Tell him that you understand his need to keep some sort of family structure in place for his -'s sake, but by treating his ex more like his wife, you feel undermined and left out, partly because of all the years of familiarity and partly because women are and his ex obviously still wants her place of honor in the family, a place that should be YOURS at this point. It's fine if she wants to be at partys, etc., but your husband has NO RIGHT expecting you to like her, talk to her, or have squat to do with her in any way, shape, or form, and that you would appreciate it if he would have a conversation with her and put her in her place, along with his mother. Then stand proudly by his side, smile, be hospitable, and be the best step mom around, but make sure that your fiance's attention is always on you % aside from the, when the ex is around. Be obvious about the fact that he is your at this point and she is just a drone delivering the back and forth, basiy invisible to you, understand? Get busy and make your family time shine, draw those in, on them, be yourself, and be successful, don't let anyone get in your way. If, after all this is said and done, and your fiance doesn't step up, leave him anyway. You be far better of and suffer far less in the end. let me unleash your sex drive
people feel lonely or at a loss during the holidays. I implore you to reach out and find them. A great place to start would be visiting a convalescent or old-folks home. Plenty of folks there that understand how you feel and then some. You gain a lot to smile about and get out of your own head. i want to suck an older manI think there's a difference between a passing fantasy and emotional or physical infidelity. I was on a business trip recently and met a married woman about my age with whom I thought I instantly clicked intellectually and emotionally we seemed to be much on the same and she was a genuinely nice person. Now the way wiz is wired if there appears to be an intellectual and emotional match it's natural for me to start thinking about a sexual connection. The woman was married (happily, I assume) and I am also happily married, but I spent a fair bit of the business trip thinking about spending or hours exploring this person. Hell, there are about women here where I've thought and hard about what it'd be like to spend a weekend seeing if I could get them to repeatedly out to their Deity and I've never met any of them. One of them was even kind enough to share a bit of a fantasy with me ;-) But fantasy is not reality. These people are all in (I assume) committed relationships as I am and the fantasies are fun but that doesn't mean I'd toss my current relationship to go bump uglies with someone who's piqued my interest. So should I leave my wife because I spent a couple evenings fantasizing about the nice woman I met? Hell, I *-* my wife fantasizes about people other than me whatever gets her through the night is just fine. Now if I was seriously considering breaking marriage vows then I think you're right I need to take a step back and take an objective look at things but for me there's a clear difference between fantasy and reality. Hell, there's a girl at the local Hooters who's almost thirty years younger than me but she's got the bright eyes, the quick smile and the sharp wit that really attracts me and I've thought several times about what it'd be like to entertain her for a weekend but all it is is fantasy. In real life she and I would hate each other after not much longer than that weekend, as although she's got most everything I look for in a woman she and I might as well be from different planets when it comes to intellectual and emotional maturity. I'd tire of her quickly and she'd probably feel the same. As I said I *-* my wife fantasizes about other people. divorce men
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