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The advice I got from my first post was basiy what are you waiting for. Every comment directed me to speak or act out on things. I took that advice to heart. It was I who then chose the means. I read this second thread again. My posts seemed strange to me. people ed them fiction. I agree in a way. Deliberately telling things as a story was itself a kind of lie. Reading both threads now I several things I did not before. It is painful but helps. I do not feel as numb. The best comment to me was that I am not worthy of my friend. I know that is obvious but I sometimes need to hear the obvious said by someone. I am thinking the comment did not go far enough. It would be better to say that I am not worthy of anything at all. I need to become invisible. On the laughing at me thing I did not understand. Maybe those people were not grown. Some here might be teenagers. I would like to laugh. Wish there was a way to laugh. cock needs a Homestead lipsthat women are and keep their mouths shut for a variety of reasons. After reading below I that you won't accept that. You hate women. I'll tell you my story I met a when I was almost 15 who was much older. He was very intense and attentive and I thought that I was beautiful and brilliant to attract a guy like him. In fact, I was a regular kid with a mother who disliked me and a father I adored but refused to stand up to my mom. I married the and every time I turned my head (the car, the post office, the grocery, the mall, the gas station) I was a "fucking whore" because I was imagining fucking someone. I wasn't. I just was looking around. He would "moo" at me instead of me by name I weighed less than lbs. He would come after me would kick me, hit me, spit on me, pull my hair, choke me, fuck around like he was going to stab me. Once he went to kick me and I moved and he broke his foot he wasn't playing footsie. If I tried to leave he would take my car keys if I tried to for help he would take the phones and unplug them and hide them. I started hiding a key so that I could sleep in my car when needed. I would show up at work in the same clothes as the night before and I would lie about the reason. I thought of those times as the " Nights of Terror." There was no rhyme or reason to his mood swings. I was always faithful. I couldn't go to my parents' house. I couldn't stay in the marriage. I would've ed the cops a million times if I had been able to find and plug back in the phone, I was horrified and ashamed of the bad choice I had made and didn't have the supports of friends or family. You make judgments about shit you know nothing of .Walk a mile then judge. double your dating
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