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I know that when friends have been attracted to someone, I'm the first one to encourage them to ask her out, even just as a friendship date to coffee or maybe a movie and such. Why am I such a big chicken? I met her about a month ago, we hit it off as she so warmly welcomed me to the gathering that I was attending for the first time. I've seen her since a few times at similar gatherings and have talked to her. We've exchanged e-mails and in both the e-mails and brief one-one-one conversations, she's been very kind and personable. For whatever reason, I've just never been comfortable asking someone out maybe it was because the very first time I did, over 20 years ago, over dinner I said to her, "I've never asked someone out on a date before until tonight" to which she said "You consider this a date??????" Ouch. I just don't know how to do this. The last e-mail I sent her was after I'd seen her and she wasn't feeling well I e-mailed her and said that I hoped she was feeling better and that I had wanted to but didn't know if she wanted s what I was really asking was if it would be okay to her. I hadn't gotten a reply e-mail all week. Tonight she did e-mail me saying that she's feeling better and I have a great holiday tomorrow. She didn't mention if it was okay to her. Today I actually did her, let it ring 4 times and then up without leaving a message. Why am I such a big chicken?? In the past, my girlfriends did the asking. I've probably walked away from potentially awesome friendships because I don't know what to do after 'hello'. The fear of rejection is just too paralyzing yet she hasn't given me any 'messages' that are rejecting of me she's just not a big "let me check my e-mail several times a day" kind of person. Sorry so I'm tired of being paralyzed by fear of rejection I am a good friend and I have really good friends but when attraction is in the mix, the big chicken suit comes out. How did you do this? If she's not the asking type, am I up a creek with no paddle?? Cogan Station Pennsylvania looking to make photographer friend
I'm in my 20s and met a at a singles event. He's about 10 years older. His observations/jokes were subtle, well-timed, and cracked me up So I gave him my number. So he works 70h weeks. It was the holiday. I get it. He's busy. So he texted and/or ed once a week for about a month. I was confused and frustrated. I figured he'd make more of an effort (text more at least?) if he really liked me. (Just not that into me?) To avoid making a fool of myself (I've done the chasing before ), this whole time I've been playing it cool and letting him do the chasing-setting up dates, ing, etc. We finally went on a date and have been on about 5 since. We spend time together weekly but haven't talked about anything serious-previous marriages/relationships, have any, etc. Most of the time I let him steer the conversation. I don't know what it is about him His age maybe? Or constantly talking about his work? The relentless teasing? He teases me about EVERYTHING I DO-the way I say something, my mannerisms, etc. So I just get nervous and react. I normally don't have any trouble asking men questions about themselves but don't feel I ever have the opportunity. I understand teasing be how he flirts but sometimes I don't feel liked or attractive. It's a form of criticism So I find myself just trying to laugh it off to get to the good stuff-real conversation-which I feel I'm waiting for. I'm direct and I'm not sure if he can or ever be. For example, he'll make veiled compliments that'll only register days later. "Where does it all go?" as I'm eating this huge burrito is supposed to be a compliment. Or if I don't stop working and take a break to grab dinner I "might just disappear." I'd rather him feel me up than make these types of comments! No idea what's holding him back I don't have this clear idea about how he feels about me. All I've gotten are kisses "hi" and "bye" and holding hands. Those even confuse me because most of the time he's laughing at me and I feel like more of a friend-or stick figure. I don't WANT TO BE HIS FRIEND. I feel like I'm waiting for him to "be real." Could it be that he's waiting for me too? Or is he just weird? Is his teasing his defense? Is my coolness, getting flustered, waiting for him to lead sending the wrong message and does it have anything to do with how he's acting? meeting married women WestminsterWell. We just finally fucking decided yesterday, so. It's new news. I can wear a gown at the courthouse with two witnesses. I'm happy to pay for a hall and Mexican food catering on another day so all the families can gather to annoy each other and humiliate me. But "real weddings" like someone had in mind cost a LOT of money that already be spent on holiday gifts and a ring or saved for the kid. I just want to be practical, yet have my modest dream come true. Without fifty fucking cousins I'm not yet related to in any way eating on my dime. sex married
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