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I've been with my great for 4+ years, married now almost a year. All is great.. I've noticed a trigger for myself, he went on a trip to his family this year and last year, I couldn't go. But both times left me upset, and with very atypical-for-me, depressed abandonment issues. I didn't tell him, because I didn't understand why I was having those feelings. Knew he was perfectly justified in going. So I started journaling, trying to figure out my prob and learned I have some residual childhood things to deal with. Borderline personality and bipolar mom. Anyway, I finally told hubby I want to work through some of this stuff, we decided to read "the languages" together. I flipped to the back and noticed a particular question that says, share your best and worst childhood memory. Well, my worst is that I was date raped- (my first sexual encounter) when I was 17 by my own boyfriend of 6 months, which obviously ended the relationship. And I learned he had already been seeing another woman by the time he did that. So at the time, I wrote about it in my journal. My borderline personality mother sneaked around and read my diary and misinterpreted, thought I was having a normal sexually active relationship. I didn't tell her what happened because I thought she wouldn't believe me. And for months she ed me a whore, , said she hated me, I would never be as good as my sister blah blah blah I ended up suicidal to the point of making intricate plans. Anyway, I know this is some of what I need to work through, plus more. I'm worried about telling hubby this he is just barely grasping a notion that my mom might have been challenging to deal with, he doesn't understand what I've tried to tell him about her mental probs. She's on meds now and rather sweet. I hear guys don't want to hear about their wives past sexual experiences/drama etc. Do I tell him or not tell him this. I can't deal with him not understanding/not believing/judging, etc. He is a reserved guy, nice. This is totally different than anything he knows about me, I'm a professional, very independent, calm, happy, I'd say normal :) Thanks for reading all this.. any input greatly appreciated. erotic massage couples BirminghamYou're hurting, and you want someone to blame. You've already received plenty of excellent advice. Your DIL and granddaughter deserve better than this, especially your granddaughter. don't fool yourself. When are told to cover their eyes, they PEEK! Only, your DIL had no idea, no warning of what she was about to. So how could she have protected her toddler from that bloody, gruesome scene? Now let that sink in real good. Do I kick you when you're down? It does no good, but God, it was an incredibly vengeful and selfish gesture. You excuse yourself by saying you were in shock, but now you must live with the knowledge that YOU etched this picture in the minds of your DIL AND HER forever. Did you ever stop to think that your DIL could take the and run anywhere, legally, without ramifications? Consider that as you place blame and criticize her at every turn. Do you want to crucify her, or to figure out a way to heal this family? What would your have wanted? Not so ago, I watched a partying, irresponsible mother get her act together within several years' time, and she has become an incredible mother. This matters, because her daughter is my grandchild. I her dearly and I'm proud of the lovely woman she's become. Consider grief therapy. It's time to do whatever it takes to get your act together. They need a strong to be there for them. Be that guy. You won't regret it. sex partner
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