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Here is a bad night of sex. First off, my wife is rubenesque, which means shes fat as a pig. Second of all, she doesnt exactly look after herself if you know what I mean. Case in prick was the other night she woke me up after visiting the bog. She was climbing over me and woke me with little drops of piss as she hadnt wiped properly (again!). "fucking hell " I instinctively exclaimed but I had wood so we got to business and started on the bedroom procedure. Its normaly a bit of oral for her, then she wanks me a bit before sucking me and I either shoot in her mouth while frigging her off or I'll mount her and jiz up her cunt. So she bends over the bed and theres like shit all up her crack. So I tell her I'm not starting until she washes her ass. Just then I felt a fart coming so I yell "Dutch Oven" and hold her head under the sheets and fart on her. So I'm down on the couch now and eating Cheetoes. Its 3am and I'm trying not to wake up my Mother in Law who fucking moved in the spare room last and wont die. So I got wood and its going nowhere, so I creep into the garden shed for my private colleection and carefully slip some horse sex video and start jacking off. I've spread my legs and I've got a shampoo bottle up me jacksee and the first spurt of cum shoots up when the fucking mother in law wanders in. I couldnt stop so she sees my cock go off. Bestiality and her shampoo in my ass. Drops to the ground dead. As my last squit of goo shoots out I catch a look at her craggy cunt as she hits the deck. I cleaned up my juice, hid the porn and then had a bloody night of wailing from the Mrs when I showed her the corpse. Finaly the undertakers rid us of her and I persuaded the Mrs to let me fuck her nice and quick (despite all the sobbing and crying), but you know what? Starting then, everytime I want to cum, all I can is her dead mum's quim. Spokane sex partySt. is the patron saint of lost items and St. is the patron saint of hopeless causes. I remember this because when I couldn't find my mother I'd pray to St.. Then when I found her with her head in the oven I prayed to St.. It never worked. swinger clubs
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