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beating ourselves up for someone elses shitty behavior. I'm sorry you are sad, what has happened sucks. I have my own issues with my own family of origin so I get the push/pull of the situation. Bottom line is they cause more negative than positive emotion at this point in time, so it is probably best to distance yourself. I dont know if I'd go so far as to say I'd never speak to them again, but give yourself a break and get some perspective. You can't manage what they or wont do, but you can manage yourself and what you put out there and what you expect. don't expect them to be any different than they are. It is not your fault that they are who they are. Step away, take a break, grieve and move forward. KNOW not to put yourself in this position again by helping or by getting someone to make an agreement you know in advance they probably won't keep. Go take a walk and chill. Quit beating yourself up for someone elses shitty behavior. Independence old bdsmand I feel really punished lately. Of note is an acquaintance I offered to pay to take care of Choco while she looked for work. I have recommended her for employment and she cancelled the interview and did not reschedule. I have suggested alternatives such as "survival" jobs, food banks, food stamps, rent assistance, ad nauseum. It has gotten her through as far as the suggestions she was willing to follow through with, albeit sometimes after the suggestions so she is in much worse shape than had she taken action sooner. This has been going on for 3 months. A week ago, she decided that I should be paying her another $ per week for doggie daycare ($ per month). I bit my tongue HARD and told her I was not able to do that and if she was not ok with that I had other options. I have been paying her for days that I have had to make other arrangements because I know she is counting on the $ a month I have been paying her. I had hoped and tried to help her find a job. Tonight she went off on me even though I have offered to help her move and find someplace to live, supported her decision to finally do something about her situation and tried to be positive even though it is not what she wants to do (work at a supermarket). There are nuances, but times over the past 3 months I have not wanted to deal with her, but refused to give up on her. I know she has some unchecked mental issues and not even be employable anymore. I had hoped to help her, but instead have gotten a shitload of resentment from her that makes me just want to walk away at this point. exclusive dating
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