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You know what you're seeing? You are at the stage where putting the best foot forward is no longer the reality. Each of you is starting to show who they really are, oh you're trying to still play the game to an extent, molding your behavior because you're afraid of her reacting to the compliments is an example of it. Only problem with that game is that you can't sustain it, takes too much energy. You know, the only person who really gets us is ourself. You have to communicate that, it's not fair to do it in codes like sarcasm to cover it up. That's a way of avoiding the consequences of what you say, using the "well if you got me you'd understand" bullshit is just that. This is coming from a person with a sarcastic sense of humor. If you want her to "get" you, YOU have to allow her to. That means showing what you really mean, not keep her guessing. Address the real issues in a real sense and use your humor to point out the ironies of life. You probably do need to change your ways to an extent, at least your attitude in placing the responsibility of everyone to figure you out on them or it lead to a lot of issues down the road, not just this relationship. So this is what you do, TALK to her. Just like you've done here to a bunch of people you don't know. Without sarcasm and the cover that it provides so that you SHOW her the real you. No fear and let the chips fall. Your compliments are true and heartfelt right? TELL HER, you're making her figure it out when you'll use sarcasm in one instance and then turn around and do the deadpan dark shit on her the next. Let her know the compliments are going to come, because you think she has qualities you like. NEVER use those against her later in some sarcastic tone. Give it a shot sbf looking for swm who aren t weirdosTrying to get it all at the same time is the problem. When you realize in your gut that you are trying to grab too much at once and are never going to be able to retain it all, you possibly have made the first step in resolving your dilemma, by deciding what's most important. I think if you actually managed to domesticate your outside lover to the point where you could trust him utterly, you'd get bored, just as you probably are with your presumably loyal husband. Being jealous of him is your self-defeating way of seeking extra reassurance and creating a little extra drama to make it more exciting. But maybe it's not as self-defeating as it seems. Maybe you're unconsciously shooting the affair in the foot because you know you belong at home. Maybe your jealous roiling gut is telling you that you need to quit this before you neglect your spouse and any further, and cause any more pain. Think about it. uk free dating site
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