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I've become intrigued though now by this idea of judgment, since (I can't help it) the judgment has been made that I am judgmental. And I'm sorry if I'm thinking out loud a bit, Bean, since you not be responding, but if anyone wishes to I would be very happy to hear her thoughts. So, since, for the sake of argument, I have a greater than average amount of judgmentalness, I am wondering what exactly the difference is between being judgmental and simply judgment. I mean, my understanding of judgment is that it is the process by which a person takes facts, impressions, prior knowledge, new knowledge, observation, etc and puts them all together when confronted with a new situation to "judge" or understand it, make connections, make decisions, etc. So, where is that fine line between doing that and becoming judgment al ? When one becomes disapproving because of the conclusion they have made? Or is there something more or less? And, more to the point, is it possible to do the former (make judgments) without doing the latter (being judgmental)? Is it possible to live a life in which we disapprove of nothing? Is that desirable? What if I (or you, or anyone) were not disapproving of torture? This seems like an awful idea, so I have to wonder if having standards and expectations of behavior (now identified as a required part of the social contract) means that being judgmental is also some part of the social contract? Or is there a way to tease those two things apart so they are not mutually dependent? Is being judgmental in moderation acceptable, and only becomes unacceptable (and therefore worthy of the judgment of others) when it crosses some certain threshold? What is the threshold? hot tigger mom Niagara-on-the-Lake
I am 6 months into a relationsip with a much-older woman. I just typed up a pros and cons list regarding her. Here are some cons: My girlfriend's (-) life is permanently enmeshed with her ex partner (-) due to them having a 4 yar old daughter together (-) and always come first and time always be taken away from me in order to care for Due to Naomi’s ever-changing demands, -'s and my time always be unpredictable b/c when says Jump, says how high. Therefore, our time together ALWAYS be contingent on if desires to dump on or not. If she decides to, I get the shaft with no discussion. (- is the biological mother) I never be a priority. I always be third in line, at best. and and -'s family always come before me. (One of the main reasons left was due to the inordinate amount of time and attention she gives to her family, at the cost of her partner so this is not something that is unique to our relationship) and take trips with (they are going to Disneyland next month just the 3 of them) and apparently they always do things as just the 3 of them. I find that disrespectful of me and our relationship but I know it not change. Because of her responsibilities with, she is not able to be there for me. When my dog was in the emergency hospital, I asked her to come with me to visit him b/c I was very upset and she did not because she had her daughter. Similarly, I am currently going thru a really emotional time in which I could really use a girlfriend and she cannot be here for me (except by phone) b/c has food poisoning and so has She is still techniy in a domestic partnership with the ex for tax and health insurance purposes. Even tho I understand the reasoning behind that, it makes me very uncomfortable. However, six months into the relationship, I don’t feel I have the right or leverage to put my foot down and ask for it to be dissolved. I sometimes feel like I am the world’s biggest fool for being with someone who is married to someone. Continued fat woman in Geary United StatesI had this boyfriend once, started as a friend and I wasn't attracted to him at all thought there was no in hell I'd ever sleep with him. He wasn't the best looking out there, but what a big heart. We out a fair amount, and as I got to know him, he became more and more attractive to me over time (like 8 months). When we started really dating, my attraction to him was in a very different place from where it started. Physical appearance has very little to do with attractiveness imo. I've known beautiful people who've become extremely unattractive to me based on personality, and vice versa. wants for a life time relationship
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