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I met my boyfriend on a dating site. We also slept together on our 4th date; similar circumstances he made me dinner at his place. I had a family emergency about a few weeks later and was leaving town. I had some insecurities and basiy said to him, "so, are you still online and dating? I know this might be a premature conversation, and I'm not trying to put you in a space you're not in, but I'm not looking around, and I just wanted to where you were, so I could know how to proceed for myself." He was great. He said "it would be horrible if you were seeing other people." I say, start the conversation. You can protect yourself against STDs, but even more important is protecting yourself against tailoring your behavior and investing yourself in someone who isn't thinking like you are about what's going on between you. You can be mellow and start the conversation to simply say what you're thinking, find out where he is, and adjust your expectations and behavior accordingly to take care of yourself. Best of luck! girls naked in SpringdaleLet me preface this my saying that I've spent all afternoon working on a spreadsheet of mind-numbing proportions only to have it close without my saving it. Needless to say, my motivation to continue working on that project just flew out the window. I have to confess I've been lurking for some time. Although I'm a grown-up (I swear!), I do have a which give you a little info on my life. It took me a time to write all that stuff, so I'll save my space here for something a little more on topic. I've been married, dated men and women, and am currently in a LTR with a woman. Since my marriage, I've been resistant to labels, although I've found NOT labeling myself to be damned near impossible. For now, I guess I'm fitting in well with the lesbian community. However, as I've gotten older, I've really had to admit to myself that, in terms of who I'm attracted to, I'm indiscriminate about gender. Bisexuality, to me, feels like the ultimate in "normal". I mean, gender seems like a rather mundane thing to use to define who I find attractive. Not stressing over whether I'm "straight" or "-" has been liberating to a point. I also find it stressful and confusing. I'm finding it difficult to maintain the LTR during periods where I find myself primarily attracted to men (and yes, the possibility that I just have a problem with monogamy has occurred to me, but I'm just trying to wrap my around one thing at a time). I also find myself confused and saddened by society in general. The stereotypes associated with bisexuality are stunning. I wish I had the latest copy of The Advocate sitting with me. A reader was spouting off some hateful comments about bisexuals (or, rather, the stereotype of bisexuals). In my personal life, I've run into more than a few queer types who were downright angry about bi's. "Please don't judge me for the person whom I, but let me tell you who you SHOULD be judging." The double-standard is frustrating. I won't even go into the straight person's stereotype of bi's. I think the forums speak for themselves. So, that's it for now, I think. Part intro, part rant, part philosophical musing. I've been entertained by you guys for awhile now, so I feel a little less guilty about my voyeurism now that I've introduced myself. top dating
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