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This is something that doesn't get discused a lot with in the kink community, rarely is it even talked about. We've all heard of the safe, sane, consensual guidelines. But at what point does it become, in your opinions? I was talking to my friend I've known off and on for the better part of years now. Before I met her, she was in a power exchange relationship. Her husband, and master, at the time, just got increasingly violent, increasingly verbally abusive, and in the process, he hid behind the mask of the power exchange. He tore her down to nothing. Left her with nothing, and has since upon her leaving threatened her life, their daughters life, her friends and families lives. This is a person who viewed her leaving, as a personal slap to the face, and didn't take in to consideration that he was/is an abusive cock. His mentality was that of her having left the power exchange. And that she was his to do as he wanted. All the while being so possesive to the point of having a trained lb Rottweiller bark and show aggresive signs to any who approached the front door. We all know the warning signs. And red flags. But how of us, in the throes of that deeper connection, in the subspace, in that "domly" state of being, would be able to identify when it crosses the lines of? Because of my friends past experiences, they have left her scarred, left her in a position of simply flat out being incapable of ANY power exchange, she gets pissed when I want to buy her lunch. So I ask again, what is to you in the structure of D/s and power exchange? you were my best friend yogiImagine the most horrible thing that has ever happened to you in your life happening to you again. I believe that I have some form of post-traumatic stress disorder. I spent most of my 20s just casually dating, with only a couple of short-term boyfriends. They seemed nice, but they were addicts. Probably a lot of what I saw as "nice" was them in an altered state. I was 28 when I met the last guy. We met online. He was younger than I was and I was attracted to his youthful optimism. When I said I was afraid to get serious with a younger guy (or any guy) he said "sooner or later, something's gotta work out." I was "betting on potential." He was bright and seemed mature, so I figured he just needed a new start. I told him he didn't belong in Memphis because his mindset was more like that of a Californian. After we'd known each other for several months, He impulsively bought a one-way ticket to California. Being the caregiving codependent whatever it is, I assumed he just needed someone to show him how to accomplish his goals. I didn't realize his goal, to the extent he had one, was to just out and mooch off of me. A few months after he moved here I experienced the first of what would be back injuries. I was also diagnosed with a chronic health condition that mimics a tumor. I was unable to walk, my vision became impaired and I developed chronic nerve pain. This guy literally had to tie my shoes for me and physiy prop me up if I needed to walk 10 feet. I became extremely dependent on him. I needed him to be my arms and legs. Eventually I did regain the ability to walk but I still have damaged vision and nerve pain and can't lift anything. I can't do things like take out the trash or groceries. My ability to drive is limited because I have very poor depth perception. Although he never acknowledge it, I believe he basiy took advantage of my poor health. He saw it as a key to do whatever he pleased, provided he cooked, drove and lifted heavy objects. He wore his mask of "perfect guy" for years. It was happenstance that I discovered a lot of things about him that he hid from me. So that's the bottom line. I'm too trusting of "nice" people because I can't comprehend evil. old ladies
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