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The JOINT checking and savings accounts (assuming there is/was one) balance not spent on Community debt as of the actual day of separation on court paperwork (or date is when you both decided to get divorced and took concrete steps like moving out of the same bedroom, etc if no filing done yet) is between the two of you; each should take their half and put into their own Separate checking account in only their name; account should be closed as as feasible. If you opened or kept an account in JUST your name during the marriage you have to PROVE that the current balance does not contain ANY earnings you made prior to the separation date and after date of marriage- documentation is your friend here. Any earnings paid after the date of separation are each your own Separate Property. How about houses and cars and debt? Any purchased or incurred before the marriage are Separate Property, all purchased during the marriage and not with Separate money is Community Property and subject to equal division or an equalization payment to the shorted party. Now, once you've done all the above calculations- go back to him with the figures for Separate on one spreadsheet and the figures for Community on another that divides up the stuff into two columns (for you and for him) and add how much you figure the household stuff is worth USED to his column too. THAT is your starting point for 'negotiations', and what a Judge likely rule for if it ends up going to trial vs a mediated agreement or an out of court agreement you both sign and file. Barnegat Light New Jersey xxx personals
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