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w4w forum: posted today I was there about 3 years ago. Similar situation, stable relationship of over a decade, plans for a life together, yada yada yada. (no, tho) I was the one who suddenly looked around and found myself with a huge crush on a cute little goth girl. Couldn't stop thinking about her, didn't want to have sex with the "old Shoe" anymore, wanted the excitement and adventure. So what did I do? I came clean with the wife, told her all about my feelings for this other woman. It hurt her really bad. One of the things she said to me made me realize I was being an idiot. Sex in one's head is much better that sex in real life. In fantasy, arm pits never stink, no one ever blows a big fart during orgasm, the dog never sticks his cold nose up your butt, then whines at the door while you are trying to concentrate. She suggested that I keep the fantasy- masturbate wildly and often, keep the "tease" going with the Goth chick, but never ever "put out." She said, for the sake of our relationship, to try it that way for months, and if I was still all hot and bothered for the gal, she would gracefully pack her shit and leave. Well, the crush lasted for about another month or so, and was it ever fun, but when I started to Goth Chick as the fallible human that she was, I realized how lucky I was I didn't throw away the relationship with my super-genius wife. We are still together, and celebrated our 16th anniversary in. If you let your gal "take her space" you be communicating that the relationship is not all that important to you. You need to let her know how devastated you are going to be, and that she is going to have one hell of a fight on her hands when it comes to breaking up. don't make it easy for her. I thank my woman every day that she was strong, and that I was worth it to her to fight back emotionally. who will you love who will you fight
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