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but to those that judged me: i do admit that i am a spoiled girl. but i never take advantage of my dates. in fact, i am the opposite of a demanding girl. i have a nice life of my own and i've always been able to spoil myself with or without men. if there was one thing i wanted a guy to provide for me that i can't on my own, it's just companionship and commitment. that being said, i do enjoy when my dates go out of his way to treat me like a while i am too, a generous girl. it's not about the gifts,money or 's about the effort a guy puts in for me. and i know and am able to reciprocate with thoughtful gifts and doing nice things for him too. he has also showed no signs of being a player. always supporting me in everything i do, and telling me he'd be a great father someday, how he thinks my parents are so lucky to have a daughter like me..and how he admires his dad blablabla.. it became very hard for me to believe a guy like him could be an asshole :( when he broke up with me,i continued to care for him hoping it change his mind. i wanted to prove that i am a good gf and that i can make his life better. if i acted desperate, it was because i truly wanted something more meaningful with him. i cut him off when i didn't want to be hurt everyday anymore:( but he refused and told me he always be my friend. i disagreed, but he never stopped inviting me out for innocent activities. and i slowly started talking to him like b4. when i agreed to out more often again, it was partly out of curiosity, because it has been a year and i wanted to know if i have really moved on. or even just to prove to myself whether he really cares for me as a friend, or he's an asshole and i should hate him. yet i realized i still have so much feelings for him. I started being nice to him again, even agreeing to design his place free(i'm an interior designer) a part of me just want him to remember me as a girl that did her best, if we were to never talk to each other again after this. as i force myself to move on. i do admit that i am selfish for doing this to my current date. but we are all selfish when it comes to. my can't decide what my heart chooses. my current date doesn't make my heart beat the same way..although his and kindness is slowly healing me. it still doesn't feel the same way :( i don't get any "butterflies". date sex vip Jackson1. how do you define self respect? Knowing yourself, listening to yourself and making decisions. Within this definition, I we all could probably use some work in this area. I know I do. 2. what kind of nice things do you do for yourself? Quiet time, kayaking, making sure within taking care of my family, that I am taken care of too. 3. do you have a dream? My dream right now is simple. Get a kayak. are you living it? Not yet, but I'm closer than ever each day. you? Absolutely. I'm hoping within the month I have realized this goal. 4. do you believe in yourself? I do 5. whats beautiful right now? This moment? The murmurs of my in the other room settling down for sleep. 6. do you have good self esteem? Some days it's up, some days it's down. normal I think. On average I'd say it's. 7. how do you feed the ego without getting selfish? By keeping my eyes open to everyone around me. We all have good times and bad. Humility is something to keep close at hand. I just came off of 18 months with no job and a family. It *can* happen to you, whatever "it" be. 8. can you go with the flow? This used to be really hard for me, but I've made a lot of strides here. I totally went with it when I wasn't working. It was good. 9. where does this line come from? " ala peanut butter sandwhiches!!" No idea without cheating. blind date
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