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The cure is the internal realization that dad is flawed, the family was hurt by her mother's death, and adults CAN get the and support they need elsewhere. What's hurting her is the belief that dad has some magic elixir that he could provide if he wanted to. He doesn't have it. And his perceived lack of isn't a choice: it's a flaw, a deficiency, baggage, a wound inside him. Whether she interacts with him or not, SHE has to stop longing for something that isn't there. SHE has to let go of the idea that ONLY dad has the magical goodies. Not seeing him won't stop the longing or the fantasy that dad is the only one who can heal her pain. What stop it is accepting reality: Dad's a mere mortal, who's flawed and confused and handled a difficult situation poorly; and adults CAN cultivate loving and supportive relationships that are every bit as healing and typiy MORE healing than a close relationship with a parent. At some point, we all have to give up the fantasy that life would be a bowl of cherries if mom and dad had been perfect. awesome Charlotte Court House Virginia buddy or friend
FIRST THING, get support for leaving. You think we were unkind. We weren't. We're trying to get you to how unacceptable your situation is. But you really need support. Without it, you'll go back the minute he says what you want to hear. Go to your community mental health clinic. It do you a world of good to have a counselor in your corner. Do it for your daughter You need to get free and stay free from this horrible situation. Here's a list of resources for domestic violence. True, your husband hasn't been violent, but these places provide help for spouses who have suffered emotional and you definitely qualify. GET SUPPORT. Without it, you'll get sucked back in and your daughter be exposed to an extremely unhealthy situation AND what you a "warped" mother. Warped isn't the word I'd use but you certainly have been affected and it's hurting you and your. horny people in Flagstaff tn freeIt had $ and that is only because there was a direct deposit of $ the day we checked. Not one dime of the SSA money has ever been deposited into this account. Basiy the CS money is deposited into his account (the State of Oregon forced her into that) and then she withdraws it. When we last voice chatted over the Internet, the ex said that if he stayed with her, he would have to start pulling some of his own weight (meaning job). Once I get the answer that I expect from SSA, my answer to her would be that he has been to the tune of over $ per month. I did slip when talking to our during a discussion we were having about how he wants to have relationships with girls/women (I them girls because he is still my boy). I told him that I have no bad feeling toward the firefighter his mother has been seeing for maybe 3 years now, but that there was one of her "friends" that if I saw him I would probably shoot him. He thought for a second and asked if it was the farrier. I told him yes. He then took another few seconds then asked "there wasn't any cheating, was there?" I closed my eyes and thought "Oh shit!!!!!!!!" So now he knows and I he doesn't tell his mother this. After all of the discussion, we both felt good about it and I tried my best to help him. I told him that you are going through the same shit that I did and "I'm sorry." I told him that the one difference was that I would get angry at God, whereas he starts off sad and then it becomes anger which he turns inward. I told him that we both need to find other ways of dealing with the situation. Oh well, let the bashing begin. mature xxx
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