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That's not to say we didn't ever argue; we did but it was rare and didn't lead to these despair feelings just arguments but never to the point of breaking up/threatening to break up, more of an exchanged point of view. Reactive EXACTLY how it feels we had a great relationship (sad to think of using it in the past tense). We were (and most of the time still are) each other's biggest champion, helping each other, working together to solve problems, just enjoying each other, etc. He's my favorite person in the world. I def read the books you suggest. I look into cognitive therapy, heck, I clearly need to talk to a trained professional if I'm even contemplating a divorce from the I -/our little 2 person family. And spot on: I'm guilty of talking about divorce, not him (I've brought it up twice). Not threatening it, but I get your point and know I shouldn't. And at least I recognize the need to shut up I honestly knew I did it but never knew how much it bothered him, he didn't want to make a big deal and now he's clearly been stewing on it for some time. Really appreciate all of your comments and your time, thank you. friend for Traralgon and swearingin that others can learn something of value from my experiences to apply to their own lives. One thing I've just realized is that feeling put on the spot by this question is OUR issue to resolve. Since we all appreciate such openness, I'm going to request that our friend keep using that method of communication, and we'll keep using the "let me get back to you" technique to check in with each other before answering swinger club
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