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I know that when friends have been attracted to someone, I'm the first one to encourage them to ask her out, even just as a friendship date to coffee or maybe a movie and such. Why am I such a big chicken? I met her about a month ago, we hit it off as she so warmly welcomed me to the gathering that I was attending for the first time. I've seen her since a few times at similar gatherings and have talked to her. We've exchanged e-mails and in both the e-mails and brief one-one-one conversations, she's been very kind and personable. For whatever reason, I've just never been comfortable asking someone out maybe it was because the very first time I did, over 20 years ago, over dinner I said to her, "I've never asked someone out on a date before until tonight" to which she said "You consider this a date??????" Ouch. I just don't know how to do this. The last e-mail I sent her was after I'd seen her and she wasn't feeling well I e-mailed her and said that I hoped she was feeling better and that I had wanted to but didn't know if she wanted s what I was really asking was if it would be okay to her. I hadn't gotten a reply e-mail all week. Tonight she did e-mail me saying that she's feeling better and I have a great holiday tomorrow. She didn't mention if it was okay to her. Today I actually did her, let it ring 4 times and then up without leaving a message. Why am I such a big chicken?? In the past, my girlfriends did the asking. I've probably walked away from potentially awesome friendships because I don't know what to do after 'hello'. The fear of rejection is just too paralyzing yet she hasn't given me any 'messages' that are rejecting of me she's just not a big "let me check my e-mail several times a day" kind of person. Sorry so I'm tired of being paralyzed by fear of rejection I am a good friend and I have really good friends but when attraction is in the mix, the big chicken suit comes out. How did you do this? If she's not the asking type, am I up a creek with no paddle?? horney women Badia
it's just a car thing. People are weird driving. OK, so, he has a family, and a mom in particular, who are going to great lengths to include you in their Thanksgiving plans. Does *he* really want to go. Assuming he does I understand you're intimidated by his huge family. Believe me, I understand that feeling. But, if at all possible, that's just something you need to get past, just for the occasional holiday or two, once a year. For your boyfriend. Personally, I've found my best method is to RELAX, make sure *I'm* having a good time, rather than worrying what other people think of me, and keep reminding myself *I* like myself, *I* approve of me, and I AM GOOD ENOUGH. After that, most all that's left is money and logistical stuff. Most people have or and a half days off from work for Thanksgiving. Would you be able to complete this trip to his aunt's in that time period, without having to take any time off work (or arranging your work schedule so that you make up for the time off)? Also, let's try to mitigate the stress you'll feel after driving. Is it possible you could arrive to the general area Wednesday night, even if very late? Stay with a non-intimidating friend or family member nearby for the night? Or even a motel room with your family. You can easily find a room in TN for under $50, tax included. Pack a picnic dinner and breakfast for the family, so you don't need to spend to eat out. So with a $50 motel room and $XX in gas, using your own car, could you manage it responsibly, for his sake? Could he do the treating, since really it's his invitation? I know it feels like if you spend money, you should enjoy yourself. Or that you should enjoy yourself on the holidays. But, for a lot of people, the holidays are a time to just put in a little relationship effort. yng looking for older- ferlinghetti a christmas reflection signs and lights proclaiming day-glo, flocked trees sold for the benefit of your favorite local have already staked claim to vacant lots and boarded-up gas stations. mountains of boxes with pre-packaged holiday wishes and season’s greetings line the shelves of better supermarkets everywhere. perhaps the little squirrel with the like hat expresses your feelings better than the chartreuse and with silver glittered halos. department store muzak blares orchestrated hymns assuring shoppers they must buy presents for seldom seen and less seldom thought of relatives. the examiner heralds notice that smart santas fill their bags at saks. liquor advertisements with intoxicated elves promise christmas spirits to boost our sagging holiday ones. a glow-in-the-dark christ rests peacefully in his handmade-in-the holy-lands crèche as plaster-of shepherds stand vigil with the and music box while strained strains of silent night, holy night comfort their babe. even donner and blitzen have been replaced. now arrives by helicopter in the shopping mall parking lot this saturday at ten. the first kiddies receive free canes while waiting to have their ten-dollar-a-shot picture taken with the bearded one. garlands of plastic popcorn and cranberries decorate vinyl-poly-urethane and fire retardant christmas trees all designed to blend with the bayberry-scented everything harkening us back to christmases past while and bing serenade from the grave with television offers of a-once-in-a-lifetime-collector’s-edition christmas album complete with stories and family suitable for framing but not available in any store. every knows that bethlehem was a giant steel company and that true wisemen have traded their camels for a “hummer”. tickle-me-elmo’s have lost out to violence filled video games as saint mattel warns parents that a child’s christmas have no meaning without a dozen-or-so toys from their “christmas odyssey” catalogue. i can hardly wait for the second coming and the avenue campaign. strip clubs
do you want to get nasty today hidden agendas never work well in a relationship. You want him to do something but dont want to tell him what you what from him. How is that fair to either of you? If you want to have a great Vday why not just talk to him? If you cant talk to him about what you want in this relationship then why be in a relationship. This is really about you and has nothinng to do with him. Figure out if why you wont bring this up to him or if this is a deal breaker. I all holidays. When I was dating my now husband I told him that holidays where important to me. The world is full of hard things and to me celebrating a holiday just brings a little cheer!! My husband is a very logical engenieer and the idea that holidays should be celebrated was not his thing but I have never not gotten a card or something because he knows that is what I like. My girl friend could care less about celebrating holidays. She and her husband dont do much unless we invite them. Every relationship is different and you have to find a way to do what is best for both of you and that starts with having a clear idea of what you want and expressing it in advance so there are no hidden agendas!! looking for older woman in Orange Beach Alabama pa
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