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* Sounds like a form of acceptance of 'this is not the life i envisioned for myself,' from him. He feels stuck, overwhelmed and helpless, sad that things not change. He has no more goals to believe in himself with, so he has a roof, food, and hours a day with sleep -TV, to just drop out of life and not try anymore Depression. He has also probably let his body go and just shoveling crap empty food s inside now Once, you were everything to him, a partner, a lover, a team mate to work hard and make feel loved, safe and important and that you mattered to him He has chosen not to and live that life of actions and words with you now a choice. * You can accept. ** He need professional help, words or medication to improve himself. ' through sickness and health.' ** You can pretend your married and go be superwoman and have your own outside full life of activities and friends. *** You can take one person therapy council and how thoughts and work assignments might be able to help a bit, until he wants to wake up, shake the rust off and live again Sounds like you need a clean and clear letter written and set aside for him, while you go take a weekend away and tell him if certain actions are not taken in a certain amount of time, then alone and all the financial crap of going your own ways is what next springtime has in store for you single mom needs some excitementGet hold of yourself!! It's time to get past the feeling sorry for yourself. I was married almost 25 years. I understand being ALL ALONE during the divorce process. But I also now am seeing that I am free to discover who I am, without him. Maybe you need to do that. Let go, and appreciate who you are. Maybe he didn't appreciate who you are, but you should. And if you don't, then start being someone that you like to be with, so you can have some peace with yourself. Also, be sure that you're not dealing with depression, because it sounds like you might be. Sometimes medication helps, like it did for me, but sometimes you just need to start making more positive decisions and CHOOSE to move forward. don't act on how you feel, act on how you want to be. If you want to look confident tomorrow when you your almost-ex, then ACT it. AND, you're going for your -'s activity, right? not for your ex. So concentrate on your, and his happiness, and how proud you are of him, channel your energies into only him. It takes work. real work. I know. But don't shortchange your and your attention to him because you're distracted by how you feel about your ex. and okay, he has a girlfriend. He moved on, that doesn't make you less of a person. Stop letting him control you by allowing him to have control of your feelings. You are in control of your life, and every choice you make. don't give that control to him, or his girlfriend. And it's time to find some friends. I actually answered a post for another woman looking for friends because she was also going through a divorce. We are very different, but our loneliness brought us together and now I have a to do stuff with and commiserate with and its much better for me. So you need to just get off your 'boo-hoo' stool, and dry your tears, and CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY. Find something to be happy about. A beautiful day, a roof over your head, a great, a steady job. whatever it takes. Stop looking outside for validation, and validate yourself from the inside out!! And maybe get some counseling!! and learn how to start living alone, without feeling bad about it. Good luck to you oh, and finding and with a spiritual life helps too. Some people say its a crutch, but if your leg or heart or anything is broken, a crutch helps. :) asian swingers
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